AP
FILE - In this June 24, 2009 file photo workers stand near the underbodies of a Chevrolet Cobalt, bottom, and the Chevrolet Cruze resting at the GM Lordstown plant, in Lordstown, Ohio. General Motors’ sprawling Lordstown assembly plant near Youngstown is about to end production of the Chevrolet Cruze sedan, ending for now more than 50 years of auto manufacturing at the site. The jobs of over 1,000 hourly workers will be eliminated when production ends Wednesday afternoon, March 6, 2019, and a contingent of workers finish making replacement parts like hoods and fenders sometime later this month. (AP Photo/Tony Dejak, File)

A lighthearted look at the news of the day:

Ford’s CEO announced last week the company is scaling back its self-driving car production. He said officials had overestimated what self-driving cars could do, such as drive themselves.

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Uber and Waymo also have lowered public expectations that self-driving cars are imminent. This is awful. Maybe I had better cancel that order for the driver-side shaving kit and portable shower.

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The number of Democrats running for president rose to 18 last week. Next year’s primary debates promise to be about as fun as an UNO game with 18 players, while sitting next to someone who’s loaded with “reverse” cards.

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Because of the number of candidates, debates will follow a truncated format. Everyone will have only enough time to give us his or her name and one favorite anti-Trump joke.

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March Madness ended last week. Only 0.3 percent of brackets correctly predicted Virginia would play Texas Tech, and every one of those people is looking for a new set of friends right now.

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Ironically, your odds of getting the NCAA basketball champion right are still better than many other things, which means a lot of Americans might want to switch their retirement plans to something more substantial than winning the lottery.

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Now comes the NBA playoffs. Nobody fills out brackets for those, because it’s no fun to get a pre-printed bracket where “Golden State” already has been filled in.

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Kirstjen Nielsen resigned last weekend as Secretary of Homeland Security. President Trump appointed an acting secretary, making a grand total of six acting cabinet members. The White House has so many acting people right now it may qualify for an Academy Award.