Alex Brandon, AP
Michael Cohen, center, President Donald Trump's former lawyer, speaks as he departs after testifying before a closed door hearing of the Senate Intelligence Committee accompanied by his lawyers, Lanny Davis, left, of Washington, and Michael Monico of Chicago, on Capitol Hill, Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2019, in Washington.

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

Michael Cohen said he hoped his public testimony before Congress last week would help “heal America.” First of all, most of us didn’t know we were so sick. And second, the hearing was like going to a clinic with a difficult illness and finding out your doctor has been replaced by Jerry Springer.

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Healing America? When was the last time your doctor recommended name-calling and rage as a cure for your problems?

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Maybe the most interesting thing Michael Cohen said during his public testimony Wednesday was that President Trump had threatened schools to keep them from releasing his grades or his SAT scores. Millions of sympathetic school kids, afraid of their parents seeing their report cards, now consider the president to be their hero.

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Still, the hearing was engaging; so much so that Kim Jong Un seemed happy his talks with Donald Trump fell apart because he wanted to get back to watching.

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Talks with North Korea seemed to hang up over language issues. The president said he wanted denuclearization. Kim thought he heard “the new clear skin sensation” he uses to keep his face looking so young.

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With the talks over, maybe Kim can go back to being “rocket man” and Dennis Rodman can resume his role as the unofficial ambassador and Olympic basketball adviser to Pyongyang. Those were much simpler days.

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Nancy Pelosi said she was glad the president walked away. It wasn’t clear whether she was referring to the talks in Vietnam or to when he left Washington.

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A survey by bankrate.com found that 63 percent of millennials who finally buy a house end up regretting the purchase. The big reason is dealing with repair costs. So, I’m confused. Are their credit cards broken?

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Baby boomers, meanwhile, are not nearly as ready to move from their current homes. That may be because most aging boomers don’t have a lot of boom left.

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Before you complain too much about Utah lawmakers wanting to remove letter grades that are used to judge school performance, consider that the North Carolina General Assembly has a bill that would keep grades but lower the threshold for an F from anything below 60 percent to anything below 40 percent. Or, as a student in one of those schools might say, that’s a drop of, like, a billion percent!