Dear Angela: My sister and I have had a broken relationship for nearly three years. We fell out over a small family fight where, for the first time, we were on opposite sides of the disagreement. We've attempted to speak about it in the past, but it always ends up in more fighting. My ultimate goal, is to be reunited in friendship with my sister, but we are both so stubborn. How can I set aside my anger (and convince her to set aside hers) and find friendship again?
Sincerely, Stubborn Sis
Dear Stubborn Sis: Kudos to you for desiring friendship with your sister. In my opinion, that's the biggest battle. At times we want to be right, we want to be first, we want to be heard — but having a true and honest desire for reconciliation is really a beautiful thing.
It sounds like when you engage with your sister, you try to resolve the fight from years ago. I'd like to suggest a different option. Since you want to be friends — start being a friend. Call your sister, ask her about her day, share memes with her that she'll think are funny, or pictures of the events of your life.1 comment on this story
Look for ways to connect — at first, it may feel like there's this big elephant in the room that you're ignoring — but people change a lot during the course of three years time, and you two need to get to know each other again.
After some time, you two may broach the uncomfortable topic and, with a foundation of renewed friendship, may be able to speak about it; or you may both decide that you've missed each other so much and you don't even care anymore.
In short, to gain a friend, be a friend.
I hope this helps!
Readers: How have you mended broken relationships with family? What advice would you offer Stubborn Sis?