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Little children trick or treating

A lighthearted look at news of the day:

To many Americans, Wednesday night may be confusing. It may seem as if all those political TV commercials they’ve been watching have come to life and are on the doorstep demanding candy.

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Last week, a winner was declared in the Mega Millions lottery, with the winning ticket worth $1.6 billion, otherwise known as about one-hundredth of the federal government’s annual budget deficit.

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Uncle Sam was reportedly seen throwing away his ticket Wednesday night in a fit of anger. This was his one chance to save Social Security.

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The winner apparently wishes to remain anonymous, but that may be hard to do. People all over South Carolina will be watching on Thanksgiving to see if any relatives land on the roof in a helicopter.

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The lottery is government’s way of tricking people into paying taxes while not really noticing they get nothing in return. That’s in contrast to the income tax, which is government’s way of using your income to pay some of the interest on all the money it’s borrowing.

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Just when you thought cable TV was running out of things to do and might have to resort to showing reruns of the Clinton impeachment trial, someone decided it would be nice to mail bombs to Democrats. Democrats immediately blamed the president for inciting whoever was doing this. Republicans said Democrats were behind it all in an effort to make conservatives look bad before the election. Suddenly, all seemed right with the world again.

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Among the targets of these mail bombs was CNN in New York. President Donald Trump vowed to chase down all the suspects, which, according to a tweet he sent later, included CNN in New York.

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Police finally arrested a man in Florida on Friday in connection with the alleged mail bombs. The suspect was cleverly hiding in a van covered in provocative political stickers.

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Meanwhile, in a hurry to be first with the scoop when all of this started, Fox News sent out an alert that the package sent to CNN included “white power.” That’s one of those typos editors might like to sit on for a while until they know whether it was inadvertently true.