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Adam Fondren
Real Salt Lake midfielder Albert Rusnak (11) chases a duck off the pitch as Real Salt Lake hosts the LA Galaxy at Rio Tinto Stadium in Sandy, Utah on Saturday, Sept. 1, 2018.

FOWL PLAY

Real Salt Lake has scored six goals in consecutive games for the first time in MLS history. The rest of the league better watch out.

In fact, it may want to duck.

Saturday’s 6-2 win over the Galaxy included a delay of several minutes, while a duck ambled across the pitch. It evaded four security officers before finally being herded off by RSL’s Albert Rusnak.

MLS tweeted, “We hear he’s dangerous on the counteraquack.”

LA-LA LAWSUIT

LA Gear is trying to block the Chargers from using anything that includes the letters LA in the name.

You mean like LAaugh out loud?

DOWN UNDER WONDERMENT

New Zealand Herald columnist Chris Rattue has had it with Australia.

“Why has Australia become so stupid in sport?” he wrote. “Seriously.”

He went on to praise Australia’s history of great tennis, cricket and rugby players.

“Now they come across as a bunch of underperforming bozos,” he wrote.

But enough about the Texas Longhorns.

DOLLAR DAZE

A woman directed a profane Facebook rant at family and friends for failing to finance her $60,000 “Kardashian wedding.”

She reportedly asked guests to pay $1,500 apiece to attend.

That’s outrageous, but seriously, worse than charging $200 to see the Cleveland Browns?

Jeffrey D. Allred
The Utah Utes defense tackle Weber State Wildcats running back Treshawn Garrett (6) in Salt Lake City on Thursday, Aug. 30, 2018.

ALMOST PERFECT

Weber State football coach Jay Hill pulled no punches assessing his team’s 41-10 loss to Utah. The Wildcats had just 59 yards total offense.

“I thought they came out of the gate not intimidated and excited about the atmosphere, and then we proceeded to get our butts kicked,” he said.

Other than that …

POWERING DOWN

Dodger Stadium has had two power outages this year and one incident of a flooded field.

That sounds a lot like the Pac-12’s first week of action.

Jeffrey D. Allred
Greg Ostertag is interviewed as 1997 Utah Jazz team members gather as part of their reunion in Salt Lake City on Wednesday, March 22, 2017.

OBSTRUCTING ‘TAG

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Grant Hill revealed that when he was with the Suns, Shaquille O’Neal throttled teammate Gordan Giricek until he passed out. Hill said the locker room incident was due to the ex-Jazz guard’s reluctance to pass the ball inside.

So now we know what kept Greg Ostertag out of the Hall of Fame.

WHITE BREAD

LeBron James says he can thank white people for introducing him to the pantry.

“Bread, cereal, chips, doughnuts, all that (expletive) is on top of the refrigerator,” he said on his HBO series “The Shop.” “When I got to high school was the first time I knew about a pantry.”

Seems they might have introduced him to something else: diabetes.