IF YOU KNEW KRIS RADISH, IT'S LIKELY YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN HER.FOR YEARS, KRIS' WRITING GRACED THE PAGES OF THE UTAH COUNTY GREEN SECTION (REST ITS SOUL), AND HER LOOKING AROUND COLUMN KEPT A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THEIR TOES. NOBODY'S REPUTATION WAS SAFE WHEN KRIS SAT DOWN AT A COMPUTER TERMINAL.
WE'VE HAD SEVERAL INQUIRIES AT THE DESERET NEWS UTAH COUNTY BUREAU ABOUT WHAT KRIS HAS BEEN UP TO SINCE SHE AND HER HUSBAND, STEVE, MOVED TO THE BUDDING NEWS HUB OF OCONOMOWOC, WIS.
Did she really trade in her NOW membership for a case of Huggies? Is it true she spends her days watching Oprah Winfrey and exercising with Jane Fonda. And does she now find more joy in reading about the sleeping habits of infants than in perusing the latest issue of Editor and Publisher magazine?
A recent letter answers these and other intriguing questions about the life of a journalist turned housewife.
"It's been quite a few months now since I left Utah and got a divorce from the Deseret News. I thought it might be time to just mention my name in the paper and scare a few of the local Republican politicians," Kris says in the letter.
"August and September are kind of blurry months for me. I kept waving at people I thought I knew. Once I heard fire trucks and was almost rear-ended by a police car before I realized it wasn't my weekend to cover emergencies. I kept getting lost too, because there aren't any mountains here to turn left at."
By Oct. 1, Kris said she felt 13 months pregnant.
"They decided to induce me. It was sort of like my first two years in Utah. The whole thing was really like a Deseret News awards banquet. You know, painful, but you keep smiling because you know something good might happen any minute. The pain was so constant I thought for sure I was covering an endless Utah County Planning Commission meeting."
Part of the problem was that the baby was breeched. Kris says he was also about as big as Robbie Bosco's shoulder pads.
"After some rushing around and a quick C-section, Andrew James Carpenter, the most beautiful baby in the world, came screaming into the world," she says. "The first two months of his earthly life were akin to covering the Thistle disaster, having lunch with Robert Redford, trying to convince Craig Call we need parking spaces and waiting for Heritage Mountain to sell ski passes: the good, the bad and the ugly."
Kris said it didn't take Andrew long to discover newspapers were enjoyed best when eaten. "Please send a Daily Herald as soon as possible." Oconomowoc, where Kris and Steve settled, is a town about the size of Springville and has a woman mayor.
"As far as I know, she has never had stomach problems or called herself Jeanne Jensen. They have flush toilets here but no sidewalks, and three weeks after we moved in, the Mormon missionaries showed up. Thanks."
Kris says local Relief Society presidents will be happy to know she hasn't got around to resuming work full time.
"In between playing with the Mickey Mouse mobile and reading up on the sleeping habits of infants, I am trying to make a go of free-lance writing," she said. "Somehow, it's just not like watching Scott Taylor jump off the desks in the Utah County Bureau. I'm trying to find out if there is a market for depressed-professional-woman-turned-sort-of-housewife articles."
Kris says she's also working on a book about a woman who goes to her swimming class and never comes home.
"The mayor is also after me to be on the planning commission, I'm writing the church bulletin, my tennis game is improving, my stretch marks are fading and, yes, I still miss Utah.
"Oh my gosh! It's almost time for Oprah Winfrey. I better sign off now so I can do Hooked on Aerobics before the big show of the day comes on. Hugs and kisses to the gang for me and a big hello to anyone who remembers me."
We remember. Hugs and kisses to you, too.