Mike Leach has a theory about how the human species will go extinct. Not to spoil his must-watch moment, but if you've ever seen teenagers text each other while sitting with each other, it's along those lines.
The Washington State coach also has unique thoughts on the existence of extraterrestrials, about why the sporting world needs more gorilla mascots and why the targeting rule in college football is similar to that time he was pulled over for speeding in Iowa. And if you’ve been wondering how to properly streak, execute a shovel pass or pick a team captain (helps if one of your players has been on “The Price is Right”), then Leach has got some ideas for you, too.
You'll also want to hear what he has to say about candy corn.
We'll leave it up to the experts to determine whether these theories, thoughts and ideas have any actual value. Here's what we do know: Leach's musings are entertaining.
Here are 13 humorous clips from Leach, whose 19th-ranked Cougars (8-2) visit Utah (4-4) this Saturday:
On aliens and Bigfoot:
"Why wouldn't God build other earths and other places? Why only this one? Even if you're an evolution guy ... I certainly wouldn't rule out life somewhere else."
Pirates vs. Vikings?
"Pirates get better gear and better weather. Vikings, you'd have a little better home life, it seems. If you didn't get killed, you could go bounce the kids around once you got home with whatever you hoisted from Scotland, Wales and Ireland."
How targeting is like the time he got pulled over in Iowa:
There was a time Leach was stopped at a speed trap in a small Iowa town. "Finally I said, 'Look, you can ticket me if you want to. ... If you fine me, it's not going to affect my behavior at all, I was already trying as hard as I could (to not speed).' I think that exists with the targeting rule."
Why the sports world needs more gorilla mascots:
"Think about it, a gorilla can whip a lot of stuff ..."
How to properly streak:
"So I'm in eighth grade at the high school football game (in Cody, Wyoming). ... All of a sudden here comes this guy, just a full-on sprint down the field, nothing on ... and then the band is lined up in this end zone ..."
On expanded football playoffs:
"College football says, and they scratch their head (and ask), 'How is it possible that you could actually have a playoff format in college football?' Well, gee, I don't know. We can go down to the local city park and Ill bet ya somebody who handles youth football can tell you how to do something like that. ... How about high school?" (And Division III? And Division II? And I-AA (FCS)? And the NFL?)
Question from Will, a Texas Tech freshman who was new to Lubbock, during the Ask Coach Leach portion of a football program: "I've got a first date with a girl and I was wondering if you might have some recommendations."
Turns out, Leach did.
How to throw a shovel pass:
(Stands up during press conference.) "You just hold the football and turn your thumb (down), and all you have to do is this. Here, I'll show you ..."
On how technology will lead to humanity’s extinction:
"Ten years from now, there ain't going to be anybody talking to anybody. It's going to be be this (looks at device and begins hilarious conversation with potential dating partner). ... In the end, it’s going to be tough to perpetuate this species."
How to pick a team captain:
"And I thought Jamal Morrow was on 'The Price is Right' and was fairly lucky and went to the final round and almost won the sucker, so I figure, well, Jamal Morrow’s a lucky guy ..."
Strangest thing he’s ever autographed:
"There was this lady, older lady, and it was an autograph signing ..."
Doing a weather forecast:
"It’s going to be windy, but windy’s not all bad because other teams that try to throw the ball don’t practice in the wind that we do, so therefore we can pass, they won't be able to. We like that."
On candy corn:
"It’s like fruitcake. There’s a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year."