Rachel Lindsay of “The Bachelorette” has a ring, but she has made it very clear that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s getting married.
“To me, a proposal isn’t, ‘You’re getting down on one knee and you’re proposing and we’re getting married tomorrow, next week, next month, next year,’” she told runner-up Peter Kraus. “I feel like it’s cultivating a relationship, seeing what you have.”
Kraus did not feel the same.
“Unfortunately, my opinions are different," he said. "Engagement means marriage. I want to do it as many times as I get married — which is hopefully once — in my life. And I want to be truly certain that this is the person for me at that time. And for the rest of time. Engagement is, ‘We’re getting married, let’s just plan the time now.’”
“That’s not what that means to me, though,” Lindsay said.
“And I struggle with that,” Kraus said.
I’m with you, Peter Kraus. An engagement is a courtship period for the purpose of working toward marriage. Otherwise, it would just be called “dating.”
What’s interesting about what Lindsay said is that in the same conversation, she told Kraus she didn’t just want a boyfriend at the end of taping. She wanted a proposal. A fiancé.
But Kraus couldn’t commit to getting engaged for the reasons Lindsay wanted, so they ultimately split, leaving Lindsay to choose Bryan Abasolo, who did end up getting down on one knee. And they aren’t in a rush to tie the knot.
“There’s a general time of year that we want to do it,” Abasolo told People. “End of next year, beginning of 2019. She definitely wants a winter wedding.”
I can’t imagine Brad, my husband, proposing to me and then planning a wedding for a year or two more to “see what we have.” Our engagement was three months long, and, to be honest, that felt like it was almost too long. Brad and I dated for more than a year before he proposed. At that time, we both knew with a certainty that we wanted to be married, to each other, and no one else. And once we knew that, we wanted to make it happen sooner rather than later. We couldn’t wait to start our lives as a new family.
Lindsay did backtrack a bit in a tweet responding to a question about what getting engaged means to her when the episode aired: "This was the chopped and screwed version of my response. Obviously Engagement means marriage 2 me. It's all I talk about."
Two years is a long time to be engaged. I hope Lindsay and Abasolo can stick it out until then. My advice: If you know your partner is the one for you, don’t wait! My advice is that building a life with someone is an amazing experience.
Also, married life is way more fun.