News came out in June that LDS Family Services is no longer handling adoptions. My husband and I have been on their profile/waiting list for almost eight months, so the news that we need to find another agency definitely puts a bump in our road to adoption.
Now I’m combing through a bunch of private agencies to find one that seems to fit our needs. But as I’m looking at these agencies with their 1-800 numbers and exorbitant fees, I can’t help but feeling like the whole process is so impersonal, businesslike and based on who can pay the most.
LDS Family Services wasn’t perfect — no agency is — but at least I felt like it was composed of well-intentioned people who were not out to make money off someone else’s desire for a family. They were just interested in finding the best homes for children who needed them while helping birth mothers through a difficult time and helping would-be-mothers find the children they were always meant to have.
I’m sure there are tons of wonderful adoption agencies out there filled with good people who want to help birth mothers and adoptive mothers. But right now, the road just seems so long and bumpy and unsure.
So here’s what I am telling myself: There will be bumps and setbacks. There will probably be hope and heartbreak, hurting and healing.
But most importantly, there will be a mother out there that one day will be searching for me as I am searching for her. There will be a child who calls me mother even as I teach him about the mother who brought him into this world and who loved him enough to find me.
There will be an end to this bumpy road and this uncertain journey, and that end will simply be the beginning of another chapter in my motherhood story.
If you have gone through adoption or are going through it now, I would love to hear your thoughts on LDS Family Services getting out of adoptions or any tips you have found through your experience.
Erin Stewart is a regular blogger for Deseret News. From stretch marks to the latest news for moms, she discusses it all while her 7-year-old and 3-year-old daughters dive bomb off the couch behind her.