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Eric Gay, AP
San Antonio Spurs assistant coach Jim Boylen during the second half on an NBA basketball game against the Trail Blazers, Friday, Jan. 17, 2014, in San Antonio. Portland won 109-100. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

In hindsight: A look back at the week that was

Blood is Boylen for Jazz fans

I have this app on my iPad that allows children to match objects of various shapes and sizes with each other, helping them learn associations, patterns and such.

If former Utah coach Jim Boylen was represented as a shape on one side of the app's screen and the Utah Jazz’s head coaching position on the other, Boylen would be a circle and the Jazz’s head coaching position would be a triangle – or whatever shape is least like a circle. A giraffe maybe? The Eiffel Tower?

Match compatibility: None

Mental description of anyone that thinks the two would go well together: Nuts

Chances it will happen: None

What’s next: Max Hall and his mom singing the national anthem at a Utah football game? Bill Maher offering a pregame prayer at BYU? Donald Sterling hosting the Trumpet Awards?

The Jazz hiring Derek Fisher as head coach, with Carlos Boozer as his assistant, would cause less outrage in Utah.

Next: Dennis Lindsey disses Tyrone Corbin in making far-fetched comments

Nate Gagon is a published sports, music, and creative writer. He is also a wholehearted father, grateful husband and ardent student of life. He shoots roughly 94% from the free throw line and can be reached at: [email protected] or @nategagon.