A recent “Ask Angela” article featured the dating story of someone who no longer considered herself a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The writer who submitted the question called herself “Now What?” and explained she was dating someone who she thought was not interested in religion but who now is.
She said, “He told me that he feels confused because he’s ‘falling in love with me’ and if we get married he wants to ‘get married in the temple’ and ‘would I be OK with that?’” After sharing her situation, she asked, “Why is someone who is completely not active in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints now asking me to come back to church so that we can both get married in the temple? ... I would not have started this relationship if I knew getting married in the temple was an expectation. ... Now, though, I’m invested and I don’t have the luxury to just not get involved. So, what do I do?”
The full article, published here, offers some thoughts and solutions to this woman's dilemma. In the interview below, “Now What” updates us on the status of her relationship and her faith.
Angela: First, what’s up with you and your boyfriend? Are you two still together? The article just came out on Monday, but we’ve been talking about this for a few weeks. How are things?
Now What?: Yes, if you can believe it, we’re even closer than we were before. I didn’t realize what a big deal it was for him to tell me how he was feeling. He was afraid that “admitting” to wanting a temple marriage would mean the end of us, and, instead, we’re working through it. It’s been a relationship builder and not breaker.
A: When you say “working through it,” what does that mean?
NW: Well, I’ve met his parents (very active LDS members) and had a really positive experience over there. We prayed at dinner, but they weren’t trying to get me to confess my sins over meatloaf or anything. He and I have also attended church a few times together, and we talk about spirituality a lot. Like I said, this has been positive and has opened a whole new dimension to our relationship.
A: This sounds really exciting! Were you surprised at how readers reacted to your situation?20 comments on this story
NW: I was surprised at how I felt! It’s weird to have strangers talking about something so personal to you, you know? One comment in particular by Shane333 really touched me. He said, “Desire to go to the temple should come from inner conversion and a desire for eternal covenants.” I’ve thought about this so much. Whatever it is that I’m feeling and that my boyfriend and I are working through — it doesn’t have to be rushed. It’s about conversion, and if it does happen, and if I do end up wanting it (which I don’t know if I do yet), it’s not going to happen overnight. We both have always believed in God, and I think we’re focusing on building that relationship, too, and I’m really enjoying the process.
A: We are all rooting for your happiness. Thanks for sharing your story with us!
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Angela Trusty is a millennial writer who lives and writes about the Latter-day Saint experience. Twitter: askange_column