A lighthearted look at news of the day:
Because the hassles of removing shoes and belts for security checks and spending hours in seats that assume you are a foot shorter and 50 pounds lighter aren’t annoying enough, the Federal Communications Commission is thinking about letting people yack on cell phones during flights.
The perfect flight – occupying the middle seat between someone with a crying baby and a teenager whose boyfriend is breaking up with her over the phone.
If Wilbur and Orville had known it would come to this, they might have abandoned Kitty Hawk and gone to work inventing the toaster oven instead.
Airline travel is the one industry where customer service seems to be headed by former members of the Spanish Inquisition.
Afghanistan’s president, Hamid Karzai, says of Washington, “I don't trust them and they don't trust me.” Sounds like the tea party ought to recruit him to run for Congress.
Lucky Karzai — at least he has a Loya Jirga, made up of tribal elders, he can turn to when he wants to get things done. In the Loya Jirga, filibusters are dealt with harshly, although going nuclear is not an option.
The way Republicans see it, the only places where nuclear weapons have been used as an act of war are Hiroshima, Nagasaki and the United States Senate.
Senate President Harry Reid and Senate Democrats changed the rules so Republicans no longer can filibuster presidential appointments. Reid strongly opposed such a thing eight years ago when Republicans ran the Senate. He said his feelings had “evolved.” We’ll see whether they evolve again after the next election.
The pilot of a Boeing 747 Dreamlifter landed at the wrong airport in Kansas last week — on a runway barely long enough to accommodate the plane. Well, I assume the pilot was a man. We never think to ask for directions.
Have you ever thought of how everyone who lives in Gettysburg, Pa., has his or her own Gettysburg address?
You never hear presidents these days saying, “The world will little note nor longer remember what I say here.” Or maybe they do but we just don’t remember it.
Jay Evensen is associate editorial page editor of the Deseret News. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.