Recently the U.S. Supreme Court ruled the Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA, unconstitutional.
That does not mean that we as a nation cannot pass our own acts in defense of marriage.
A recent published survey revealed that 30 percent of the women stated they had been victims of domestic violence. Unwed mothers now represent 40 percent of births.
Abandonment by fathers is excessively frequent. Children having children is a tragedy for everyone. Some of the best mothers I have seen were sophomores in high school, but it is out of order.
Therefore, I declare a new DOMA. It is the Defense of Marriage Acts. The emphasis is on acts.
The resurrected DOMA should be a list of acts we should all obey regardless of the opinion of the court.
I will reserve sexual activity until marriage.
I will court and woo the person I live with and ask them to marry me if I violated the first act.
I will love my female wife or my male husband by waking up every day and thinking what I can do to make her or his life better.
If I do not know how to love, I will start by not being critical in word or unspoken expressions.
I will display love daily by not exercising unrighteous dominion. I will not attempt to control my spouse. If I am so insecure that I feel I need to control or worse resort to violence, I will seek help to overcome my mood disorder, addictions, insecurities or whatever is wrong before I do harm.
I will support my spouse by assisting in any way I can to help make our domicile beautiful.
I will be mindful if I bring self-centeredness and self-righteousness into the marriage and stomp out both impediments to happiness.
I will not make my spouse into my own engraven image. If those loved ones around me become my emotional extensions to shore up my weakness and not individuals, I will step back and plug the holes of my own insecurities first.
I will not draw into my home or my mind anything that will distort sexual relationships or corrupt normal human intimacy.
I will express my emotions with words even though that may not have been something that was practiced in my own growing up. I will learn by practice.
I will strive to maintain my own personal health while I support the family’s effort to eat better and be more active.
I will pay for baby sitters so my spouse and I can have a regular date.
I will spend my precious minutes in healthy activities instead of screen time.
I will be responsible with my spouse to control expenditures and wants and stay out of debt. I will obtain the optimal education or training to support us.
I will learn to love in-laws. (Mine are easy)
I will be grateful and list the reasons every day.
I will apologize and seek forgiveness if I break any portion of this act.
Like any legislative actions, these DOMAs are open to friendly amendments. Add your own.
The original DOMA may be ruled unlawful. However, the courts on high sustain the defense of marriage. We all need to be obey, honor and sustain the acts of the new DOMAs.
Joseph Cramer, M.D., is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics and a practicing pediatrician for more than 30 years. He can be reached at [email protected].