Police say Michael Thomas Boatwright of Florida was found unconscious in a hotel room in California a few months ago. When he came to, he insisted his name was Johan Ek. He also spoke fluent Swedish and didn't understand a word of English. Maybe he thinks this will keep him from having to pay his share for Obamacare.
Doctors say Ek … er, Boatwright, suffers from a rare form of amnesia. If we could find a way to inflict this malady on members of Congress, we could make our fiscal problems Sweden's problems, then elect a new bunch here.
McDonald's started a web site to offer helpful advice to employees on how to budget for household expenses. Their advice? Get another job in addition to the one for the fast-food company.
McDonald's sample budget includes a $150 car payment and $600 for rent. It does not include home-security expenses in order to keep the Hamburglar from breaking in.
Those of you trying to decide whether to get a Twitter account should consider this: Last week, a Vatican court ruled that Pope Francis' followers on Twitter will earn time off from their purgatory sentence.
The Vatican is offering "indulgences" to Twitter followers, absolving them of sins. A church official warned that old-fashioned faith was still a requirement, and that heaven is not just a mouse click away. No, but we're pretty sure, given recent reports on Internet pornography, the other end of the spectrum is.
Not to be outdone, Edward Snowden is offering a free 30-minute asylum paperwork consultation to every thousandth Twitter follower.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.