J. Scott Applewhite, Associated Press
In this April 10, 2013 file photo, Democratic Sen. Joe Manchin of West Virginia, left, and Republican Sen. Patrick Toomey of Pennsylvania, right, announce that they have reached a bipartisan deal on expanding background checks to more gun buyers, at the Capitol in Washington.

Members of both parties said last week they had reached a compromise on requiring background checks for gun purchases. Most gun merchants said they don't care what background you have on your checks, just that they won't bounce.

Meanwhile, a knife-wielding assailant stabbed several people last week at a college near Houston. Get ready for knife-control bills in Congress.

The Ginsu lobby is already marshaling its forces.

Santa Clara beat George Mason to win the College Basketball Invitational tournament, which is for those not good enough to make either the NCAA or the NIT. In equally relevant news to most Americans, President Obama unveiled his latest budget proposal.

Last year, the House and Senate both unanimously rejected Obama's budget — one of the few moments of true bipartisanship in recent years.

This time, the president came up with new ideas, such as raising taxes on the rich and spending a lot more.

Obama counts $167 billion the government never intended to spend as a savings due to a drawdown of war costs, then uses that to fund other projects. He forgot to include the savings from not funding a trip to Saturn and not having to pay ransom to an intergalactic overlord who might threaten our very existence. Think what that could fund.

Meanwhile, Congress last week scribbled "return to sender" on a plan to end Saturday delivery and sent it back to the U.S. Postal Service.

Apparently, lawmakers didn't want to ruin their record of being utterly incapable of considering plausible solutions to any financial crisis.

J.C. Penney has fired the hotshot CEO it acquired from Apple. It wasn't his fault. Who knew that doing away with sales and telling older shoppers they're not wanted was a bad business strategy?

Utah Gov. Gary Herbert left on a two-day trade mission to a Third World country last week. No, wait, California is still a state.

How long will it take before a group of Cub Scouts wants to turn the landslide at the Bingham Copper mine into the world's coolest pinewood derby ramp?

Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.