Feeling your age? Aches and pains getting you down?
This won't help: Christian Laettner is officially an old guy.
Kentucky forward Willie Cauley-Stein was asked last week about the 1992 NCAA Tournament game in which Laettner made his buzzer-beater to lead Duke past Kentucky.
"I don't even know who that is," Cauley-Stein told reporters. "What is that?"
In fairness, Cauley-Stein wasn't born when Laettner launched his famous shot. Still, it raises the obvious question: Doesn't this man own a television?
Sources say Cauley-Stein has also never heard of Madonna, Myspace or the pay phone.
Washington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan says he was robbed.
No, it has nothing to do with the officiating in an Oct. 28 loss to the Steelers.
Shanahan filed a police report in Pittsburgh after discovering $3,700 and his passport were missing from a briefcase he left in the locker room.
Some stories said Shanahan was visibly agitated, which could mean two things.
First, he was robbed.
Second, he's planning to leave the country if the Redskins miss the playoffs.
The election season has left Rock On feeling exhausted.
By the end, he was too tired to watch the final results coming in.
Which in a way isn't all that different from watching Utah's and BYU's football seasons.
There goes another good rivalry, thanks to football realignment.
The BYU-Utah football series is scheduled to go forward for a few more games, but the annual November food drive has changed. BYU is now aligned with Utah Valley University while Utah has begun an "Unrivaled Rivalry Food Drive."
Both schools seem to agree that having a food rivalry when they're not in the same conference is a non-starter.
Something about neither side having the appetite for it.
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Ex-Salt Lake Bee Mike Trout has been named A.L. Rookie of the Year, making him the first Angel to win that award since Tim Salmon in 1993.
Still, that didn't stop Oakland fans from claiming something was fishy about the selection process.
While 60,000 Texans have signed a petition to secede from the Union, the city of Austin has filed its own petition to secede from Texas.
The latter petition says it's "entirely feasible for Austin to operate as it's own state."
After all, that's what BYU has been doing since leaving the Mountain West, right?