I tell myself it's not that I'm being left behind, it's that I'm moving on. Or I’m supposed to be anyway.

Physically? Yes, I've moved far away from BYU cross country, but my stubborn heart is stuck there. I suppose I haven't worked too hard to change that.

For example, right now I know the team is at its pre-season camp. I know the workouts they'll do, the clinics they'll have and even the meals they'll eat. It's what I don't know that hurts.

Who are the new incoming freshman? How have the first few weeks of marriage gone for the girls who are newlyweds? How did the threshold-run-that's-not-a-race-but-kind-of-is go this morning? Where will the "mountain run" be this year, and will the girls manage to not get lost? What hilarious antics have already taken place?

Will Coachie sing "Macho Man" in front of everyone? Have Eddy and Rach had a dance battle yet? Has KDA given up any details on her relationship? Have the wonder twins reunited? I want to see Mikey, Palm Sauce, Mills, A-Tom and LMD. Everyone.

I'll miss the movie watching, the pool-table game, the talent show, the team song. I'll miss all the memory-making because I'm just a memory now.

Even if my own running has become lonelier, I'm cheering loud for the girls I love and miss and the current members of the team, the former and the future. Good luck this season!

Cecily is a BYU graduate and an All-American in track and cross country.