Love is a word that is very deceptive, maybe even illusive, if we look at

it as a noun. It is not something that we can buy and hold in our

hands; it is a word that is filled with action.Love is a verb. This

word is not just a feeling, it is a doing. For years all I ever wanted

was to feel loved. That did not happen because I was looking for love

in all the wrong places, as the song says. I was not going to find this

love coming at me and surrounding me as a fog. I was not going to feel

this love from other people. I was searching so hard for this love that

I never dreamed that it was hiding right inside of me.The reason we

have a hard time finding this love is that the clutter we have in our

heads is standing in the way. When we can address this most personal of

our Body Clutter we will begin finding what we are looking for.

Men and women equate love much differently. For a man to show love he

often reveals it in actions — checking our tires, changing the oil — he

is doing something. He may not be good at sentimental cards and flowers,

which is how we women equate love.This is why we need to look at the

various ways that love is accomplished. How do you love your children? You feed

them, dress them, bathe them, and do things for them. We do the same

thing for the critters in our lives. We scratch their ears and rub

their bellies.Robert explained this to me this morning. A few years

ago our hound dog Lucy died and we got another sweet hound dog. Robert said

that he could sit in his chair and think about how much he loves this

new dog or he could get up and go over and pet her. Then he would be

showing his love and she would feel his love for her. It would not be a

passive experience just for him but a shared event for both of them.

Then he turned this around. He said when we are loving ourselves we are

the giver and the recipient at the same time. That is when he headed

out the door to play in the woods. This is one thing that he loves to

do. When you are doing things that you love, you are loving yourself.

With our FLYing way of life we only surround ourselves with things we

love. We turn chores into blessings and release the stress from our

lives by using routines to put us on autopilot. These are all forms of

love but in our female definition of love this is just stuff we have to


We have to find ways to show ourselves love the way we understand it

and will recognize it as love. But since we are doing it for ourselves

we just don't accept it in the same way we would if it came from

someone else. This is why we have a new Pampering habit for December.

These are little things that we can do each day to pamper ourselves.

They can be anything that you can think of to do something nice for

you. You can snuggle with a cup of warmth or curl up with a favorite

book or magazine. Settle into a tub of bubbles or put on some of your

favorite music. Pick up a flower at the grocery store so that every

time you look at it you will smile. Light candles in your home or put

crystals in the window so that rainbows dance across your room. These

always make me smile.

I was taught many years ago by Rita Davenport to fake it till you make

it. I didn't really know what that meant till recently; I just did like

she said. \"Fake it till you make it\" is nothing but practicing till a

habit becomes automatic. Imagine that practicing loving ourselves with

little habits that tell us we are loved by the person who does those

little things that make us feel the love we so deserve. The martyr goes

away and you are surrounded by the loving feeling that you have been

searching for.

So practice loving yourself first by simple actions and eventually you

will not do things that you don't love and you will not have items in

your home that do not put a smile on your face. This act of love is as

contagious as your shining sink. You are just shining your heart.

Are you ready to Finally Love Yourself? One little habit at a time.