Love is a word that is very deceptive, maybe even illusive, if we look at
it as a noun. It is not something that we can buy and hold in our
hands; it is a word that is filled with action.Love is a verb. This
word is not just a feeling, it is a doing. For years all I ever wanted
was to feel loved. That did not happen because I was looking for love
in all the wrong places, as the song says. I was not going to find this
love coming at me and surrounding me as a fog. I was not going to feel
this love from other people. I was searching so hard for this love that
I never dreamed that it was hiding right inside of me.The reason we
have a hard time finding this love is that the clutter we have in our
heads is standing in the way. When we can address this most personal of
our Body Clutter we will begin finding what we are looking for.
Men and women equate love much differently. For a man to show love he
often reveals it in actions — checking our tires, changing the oil — he
is doing something. He may not be good at sentimental cards and flowers,
which is how we women equate love.This is why we need to look at the
various ways that love is accomplished. How do you love your children? You feed
them, dress them, bathe them, and do things for them. We do the same
thing for the critters in our lives. We scratch their ears and rub
their bellies.Robert explained this to me this morning. A few years
ago our hound dog Lucy died and we got another sweet hound dog. Robert said
that he could sit in his chair and think about how much he loves this
new dog or he could get up and go over and pet her. Then he would be
showing his love and she would feel his love for her. It would not be a
passive experience just for him but a shared event for both of them.
Then he turned this around. He said when we are loving ourselves we are
the giver and the recipient at the same time. That is when he headed
out the door to play in the woods. This is one thing that he loves to
do. When you are doing things that you love, you are loving yourself.
With our FLYing way of life we only surround ourselves with things we
love. We turn chores into blessings and release the stress from our
lives by using routines to put us on autopilot. These are all forms of
love but in our female definition of love this is just stuff we have to
We have to find ways to show ourselves love the way we understand it
and will recognize it as love. But since we are doing it for ourselves
we just don't accept it in the same way we would if it came from
someone else. This is why we have a new Pampering habit for December.
These are little things that we can do each day to pamper ourselves.
They can be anything that you can think of to do something nice for
you. You can snuggle with a cup of warmth or curl up with a favorite
book or magazine. Settle into a tub of bubbles or put on some of your
favorite music. Pick up a flower at the grocery store so that every
time you look at it you will smile. Light candles in your home or put
crystals in the window so that rainbows dance across your room. These
always make me smile.
I was taught many years ago by Rita Davenport to fake it till you make
it. I didn't really know what that meant till recently; I just did like
she said. \"Fake it till you make it\" is nothing but practicing till a
habit becomes automatic. Imagine that practicing loving ourselves with
little habits that tell us we are loved by the person who does those
little things that make us feel the love we so deserve. The martyr goes
away and you are surrounded by the loving feeling that you have been
So practice loving yourself first by simple actions and eventually you
will not do things that you don't love and you will not have items in
your home that do not put a smile on your face. This act of love is as
contagious as your shining sink. You are just shining your heart.
Are you ready to Finally Love Yourself? One little habit at a time.