The Utah Flash promoted a proposed one-on-one rematch between Bryon Russell and Michael Jordan for weeks, to pump ticket sales for the team's Monday home opener.
The club was vague about whether Jordan would actually be there for the charity scrimmage, but went ahead with the marketing, anyway.
Rock On didn't show up on Monday, regardless.
He was there to see Jordan abuse Russell in the 1998 NBA Finals, which was mostly unwatchable. Seeing them 25 pounds heavier and 11 years older didn't bode well for things being any prettier.
Show or no show.
Push-off or no push-off.
Matt Harpring, for all intents and purposes, retired last week, saying his body could no longer take the punishment of playing in the NBA.
A Jazz news release said doctors advised that continuing to play would be "counterproductive to (his) health, both in the short term and long term."
Which is the same prognosis Rock On's wife offered when he suggested they watch the NBA playoffs on their anniversary.
If you're a University of Colorado women's basketball fan — and even if you're not — you'll recognize these names.
This year's Buffs roster includes Brittany Spears and Whitney Houston.
Spears, a junior from Pasadena, is averaging 18.7 points and 9.5 rebounds. Houston, a junior from Memphis, is averaging 5.2 points and one board.
If the Buffs can just add Hannah Montana, they think they can contend for a Grammy.
Seattle Times columnist Dwight Perry notes that in Sarah Palin's new book, she incorrectly credits a quote to former UCLA coach John Wooden, when it was actually Cheyenne activist John Wooden Legs who said it.
Here's hoping she doesn't credit Willie Mays Aikens with ranking fourth on the all-time home runs list.
Jerry Sloan on the Jazz's green throwback jerseys: "I'm not really fond of green except on a tractor."
Rock On doesn't know if he buys that.
With a $5.5 million contract extended for another season, Sloan must be pretty fond of that kind of green, too.
Dept. of defense
Ari Fleisher, the former presidential press secretary, has been hired by the BCS to defend its exclusionary (Rock On's words, not his) policies.
It has been noted that Fleischer, who worked in the Bush Administration, has also defended the Iraq war and prisoner treatment at Guantanamo Bay.
Word is he plans to follow up by defending the food stamps for NBA free agents program.
USU hoops coach Stew Morrill on the guy in the stands who does a nifty bare-chested Chris Farley imitation: "Kind of like me taking off my shirt: probably not a great idea, but whatever works."