• We are now entering a new chapter in American history: 11.

• But help is on the way from our suddenly fashionable Big Government. Goodbye, Karl Rove — hello, Karl Marx.

• Our faith-based initiative, aka the Treasury Department, will deliver $700 billion to all the needy charities along Skid Row, aka Wall Street.

• Try not to dwell on the bailout going to the same crowd that already enjoys generous tax cuts.

• New sign on Wall Street: "Watch out for falling bankers." The posh N.Y. restaurant "21" is now "6."