• All of a sudden the campaign issues are much easier to understand. Goodbye, Hurricane Gustav — hello, Hurricane Bristol.

• Bristol Palin will marry the father of her child. And to think that only a week ago we were all concerned with silly trivialities like war and peace.

• Speaking of paternity — who is the father of this teen-pregnancy bombshell? Who sired this campaign derailment? John McCain.

• McCain may be from Arizona, but it appears that he vetted Sarah Palin in a New York minute.

• McCain could survive and get elected. Then we could all look forward to a White House shotgun wedding.