It is a generally accepted fact that the Constitution of the United States of America is obsolete and no longer applicable to our times. By "generally accepted," I mean by me.

In this age of iPods, iPhones and iRaq, it is clear that the current generation is not interested in the tenets of a document written more than 200 years ago. We forget the text messages we received less than 200 seconds ago. No, as important as the Constitution was to our forebears — who spoke of each amendment with solemnity while working actively to undermine them — the digital age requires a digital solution, a solution that captures the nobility of that sacred parchment, a solution that can be easily achieved with a mouse click.

There is only one realistic possibility: The Constitution must be replaced be an End-User License Agreement.

Although the number of people with the ability to recite long passages of the Constitution from memory is rising every year (some experts predict that number may reach as high as a dozen soon), a far greater number of people are familiar with EULAs. Every time we create an online account so we can check our friend count, install a piece of software to allow us to make an electronic binary transfer of digital information (read: steal), or download an update to iTunes, we are faced with a choice: Do we accept or decline?

The Constitution, by not requiring any such action, is far too lenient. Any bum, lowlife, scoundrel or complete moron can be born in this country and be declared president by the Supreme Court. Any inept buffoon has the right to free speech and the ability to turn that into a radio contract with Fox News. Any self-serving and morally bankrupt individual is granted the freedom to bear arms and use that freedom to shoot an attorney while on a hunting expedition. No citizen of the United States has to do a darn thing to enjoy the Constitution's protections!

By enacting an End-User License Agreement, we can place that responsibility squarely back on the shoulders of the digitally obsessed. Do you want freedom of religion? Then you better be clicking on Accept, sir.

Some may argue that by enacting a EULA we give complete control of the country to large corporations. These people have obviously not lived in this country for long.

The EULA of the popular iTunes software states (and I'm not making this up): "You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons."

Now that should be law in America.


Jeffrey R Wilbur lives in Cedar City.