Dear Abby: A close friend I'll call "Millie" recently confided that she is being sexually harassed at work. The person is a major client of hers, and she could lose her job if this is brought to light.I would like to help Millie, but I don't know what to do. Please help me. This is eating away at me. Hurting for My Friend in Connecticut
Dear Hurting: It is important that Millie report what has been happening to her boss. It is her employer's responsibility to see that she is not bothered.
I have long thought that people who use their position of power to sexually harass are either so pathologically narcissistic they can't believe everyone isn't bowled over by their charm (which, of course, is delusional thinking), or so pitifully unattractive and insecure they must bully their target into submission.Whatever is driving your friend's harasser, it is vital for Millie's emotional well-being that the person is stopped. Laws protect people in the workplace, but only if the harassment is reported.
Dear Abby: I would appreciate your perspective on something that has been going on for about five years. When my granddaughter, "Allie," receives a gift, she takes it to her room to open. Allie is no longer a child, Abby. She's an intelligent, attractive college graduate. Later on, she will say thank you for the gift.When I asked why she won't open the gift when I give it to her, her response was, "I don't like to be watched while I open gifts." This leaves me unable to witness her pleasure and makes me wonder why I spend my time purchasing anything for her. Please give me your reaction. Gift-giving Grandma, Charlottesville, Va.
Dear Grandma: You are operating under the assumption that your granddaughter likes the gifts you have chosen. Has it occurred to you that she may take the gifts to open in private because she knows you are waiting for her reaction and finds it intimidating?My feeling is that you and she should have a frank talk about this, and you should take your cue from the outcome. It'll clear the air.
Dear Abby: Am I doomed to be a "jack of all trades"? I'm 21 and can never stick with a job longer than six months. I get bored and start looking for another one.
I have noticed my inability to find satisfaction in anything I do. I pick up and drop hobbies in the span of weeks. I'm currently in college and have switched majors six times. Women drop me because I can't decide on what my "life's work" should be.I know I'm young, but it feels like the years are going fast. What can I do to find my niche? A Guy Named Mike in Ohio
Dear Guy Named Mike: The first thing to do should be to head to the student health center, explain your problem and ask for an evaluation. Next, stop berating yourself for being indecisive about your career path.Generations ago, people trained for one career that was supposed to last until retirement. Today, however, workers can expect to change jobs several times over the span of their careers. And that's why a liberal arts education can be helpful, because it exposes students to a wide variety of subjects that can be helpful in the future.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. © Universal Press Syndicate