My editor called me the other day asking about the fitness column I was supposed to be writing for today's paper.
Aaaah! Yikes! Is it getting hot out here or what!?
"Oh, yeah. It'll be there first thing in the morning," I replied, trying to sound calm and completely in control. "Just fine-tuning it. (Gulp!) Should be a good one. (Frantically scratch head.) Pulitzer, maybe. (Wipe sweating brow.) Definitely not one for the bottom of the bird cage. (Wonder how many of my previous columns are currently being pooped on by birds.)"
Good thing it wasn't really, really due until the next day. I hadn't forgotten about it, of course (or so I'll keep claiming). It was definitely on my mind. But between riding my bike 10 or so miles, swimming 1,000 yards and mowing the lawn that day, I'd been too busy to start it yet.
Saturday would've been a good day to start, too, but that whole do-another-triathlon thing kinda got in the way. Some other possible good days were quickly filled up by me pretending to be a Tour de France cyclist and by that, I mean actually pedaling around town, not testing out my chemist's latest performance-enhancing drug cocktail.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm bragging about my physical activities of late. And truth be told, I only mowed the backyard.
We wouldn't want writing about fitness to get in the way of working on fitness, right?
Wait a sec ... did my editor say fitness column?
I thought I signed up for a weight-loss column or an occasional "Jody-will-try-to-be-funny-about-something-diet-related-to-distract-readers-from-knowing-he-gained-weight-again" column?
Speaking of which, hey, look over there at that story on the other page!
OK, you can come back now. Please. No, really. I didn't gain weight this month. Yoohoo, over here ...
I like the sound of the whole fitness column thing, especially since fitness is on my mind a lot. Why, I keep wondering for instance, does it HURT SO BAD trying to get fitness instead of fatness?
Increasing my fatness level was relatively painless, well, except for those post-meal moments where I used to wish I'd worn stretchy pants without buttons (OK, intentionally without buttons).
But losing weight the old-fashioned way exercising and eating healthy definitely has its own moments of uncomfortableness. Still, my body seems to be happy its limits are now being stretched instead of the oversized (and bulging) clothes on it.
I also actually really like that the concept of this column is transforming along with my identity, body and health. Move over funny fat guy, and make room for the funny fit guy.
Well, that's the goal, at least.Hopefully, I can get these columns to accomplish the same thing. I just have to find (or make) time to write them around a schedule that seems to get busier by the workout. But being crazy busy and trying to juggle family time, work time, church time, me time and sleep time, as I'm finding out, sure beats sitting around doing nothing.
Sports writer Jody Genessy, who has now lost (and kept off!) 154 pounds, writes a regular column chronicling his weight loss and fitness adventures. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org