I must confess it, come clean, get it off my chest.
Since 1956 I have harbored a guilt regarding a selfish and irresponsible act which has had dire consequences for the whole world. I realize that every righteous reader will be dumbfounded by my egregious selfishness, while sinners (none of whom read this newspaper, anyway), will shrug their shoulders and continue on their self-destructive course.
Yes, I admit it I am personally responsible for the sad state of the world. But for my selfishness, we would now be basking in the Millennium. I am very sorry for putting the world in this terrible fix. Let me explain: