Question: Why are people so interested in celebrities?
Answer: I don't know. Tell me why.
Question: I don't know. You should know you're closer to that kind of stuff.
Answer: They have to hire a normal bouncer (for the Correspondents' Dinner), and they have to bounce Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson and the Jonas Brothers. ... Scott McClellan probably didn't go because he couldn't get in. He was probably outside going, "I've got some pretty big news coming out of this book I'm doing," and people were saying, "Yeah, yeah. Move over, here comes Ashlee."
Question: It's a crazy world. But it's working out well for you.
Answer: It's true. I am enjoying the dumbing-down of America.
Question: And it gives you so much to plug.
Answer: To me, it's always like tax time for an accountant. Celebrities never stop. Mariah Carey with her child bride. ... I'm pretty busy.
Question: What can you say about the new season of "The D-List"?
Answer: The episode I'm really proud of is when we went to Walter Reed Army Hospital. ... It's one of those episodes where there are moments that are tough and moments where it's pretty wild. What I found out about my beloved war-hero amputees is that they will laugh at the sickest (stuff) that you can imagine.
Question: You've done a lot of stuff for the military. Do you feel that's important to do?
Answer: Before the show even started, I went to Afghanistan, Kuwait and Uzbekistan. ... Then, by the time I get to Walter Reed, they're like, "Get us the (expletive) out of here." By the way, I think I've just made a very good pitch to get into the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I think I should grab at least one Simpson and be fine.