Question on a recent Third Grade math exam in Georgia: "Each tree had 56 oranges. If eight slaves pick them equally, then how much would each slave pick?" It's a trick question. The correct answer is: Some teachers should be fired.
This was only one of several slavery-related questions on the exam. A better question would be: "If 100 parents have children in the Third Grade, how many complaining parents does it take to make the principal go bald?"
Last week, Mitt Romney said people should be able to fire their insurance companies. Suddenly, other Republican candidates made him look like a cross between Simon Legree and Mr. Potter from "It's a wonderful life." And you thought modern politics had no substance.
Heavens, no! We don't want a president who steps into a bloated federal government and starts firing people.
Boston Globe editors endorsed Jon Huntsman Jr. last week, just to show they don't hate Mitt Romney for his religion.
Huntsman was almost giddy after a third-place finish in New Hampshire, calling it his ticket to ride to South Carolina. Granted, his seat is in the luggage bin, but it is a ticket nonetheless.
The Bulletin of Atomic Sciences last week moved the so-called doomsday clock one minute closer to midnight. Isn't this when we're supposed to change batteries in our mushroom cloud smoke detectors?
Orem passed an ordinance last week outlawing aggressive panhandling. Lots of cities are doing the same thing, and for good reason. If you want to shake people down for money you should do it the old-fashioned way, through taxes.
President Obama has called for Congress to once again raise the debt ceiling, this time by another $1.2 trillion. The trouble is, the workers who get up there to physically raise it find the air so thin they pass out.
No doubt some politicians would like to impose a baseball-style approach to debt. Instead of a ceiling, just install a retractable roof.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.