Associated Press
Egyptian Christians raise crosses.

Because the alphabet letter "T" is clearly a Christian symbol that represents a cross, the state-sponsored use of that letter in all government writings and on any public land must be banned because it is an unconstitutional violation of the separation of church and state, per a decision of _he Uni_ed S_a_es Cour_ of Appeals for _he _en_h Circui_.

Similarly, the Greek letters "Chi" and "Rho," which resemble the English letters "X" and "P," are used as a chrismon; _herefore, governmen_ agencies mus_ be prohibi_ed from using words such as _hoeni_, e_em__, e_ce__ and s_hin_.

Furthermore, the fish is a common symbol of Christianity so the U_ah Division of Wildlife Resources must immediately stop stocking lakes and reservoirs with fish, since this is an egregious endorsement of Christianity by a government agency.

I hope the reader senses the sarcasm and irony, I hope the Utah Highway Patrol gets to keep its fallen trooper markers and I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, regardless of your religious affiliation or lack thereof.

Steven McLean