TRAX opened two new lines this week. I took the red line to work on Monday and can report that nothing beats that new-transit-line smell.

Remember that old Hillary Clinton ad about the White House phone ringing at 3 a.m.? Well, it's ringing. Unfortunately, it's a collect call from Wall Street.

Political wisdom, 1992: It's the economy, stupid. Political wisdom, 2011: It's the stupid economy.

Who says humans can't learn? Look at what we gleaned from the Depression era: Don't raise taxes and don't start a trade war. Check, and check. Result? High unemployment and a sagging stock market.

Look what else we learned: Infuse tons of cash into the economy, socialize General Motors and start a massive new health-care program. Result? All of the above, plus a reduced credit rating.

Look what else we learned: One war seemed to help us out of the Depression in 1941, so we've got three.

The only thing we haven't tried yet is to watch lots of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies.

Meanwhile, here's your stock tip for the week: BUY! SELL! BUY! SELL!

The Outdoor Retailers show is worried because it has outgrown the Salt Palace Convention Center and now has to use a large tent in a parking lot for some displays. Hmm. A show for outdoor enthusiasts is concerned about using a tent outdoors? Was that my irony meter that just exploded?