Last week, several friends of Ambassador Jon Huntsman Jr. sponsored a welcome home event. to which a number of influential Utahns were invited. We, naturally, were not included. (HUGE MISTAKE!!!)
Had we attended that event, we would have been pleased to provide our former governor — in private — a multitude of ideas to assist him in his presidential quest. Instead, we are forced to reveal our cleverness in public.
We respectfully submit campaign slogans and taglines for bumper stickers, signs, brochures and television commercials to the Jon Huntsman for President campaign:
Huntsman for President: The great-grandson of "saloon keepers and proselytizers"
Jon Huntsman — a true American: He has the birth certificate to prove it
Huntsman/Bachmann in 2012: On the issues, one is hazy, the other is crazy
Choose experience. Choose Huntsman: He worked for Obama, but he never really liked him
Huntsman in 2012: Just like Romney, but fewer flip flops and no health care baggage
Huntsman — The Voice of a New Generation: Because no other candidate has a clue about the rock band, "Toad the Wet Sprocket"
Huntsman – The Guy With the Guts to Make Tough Decisions: He got those steel guts from years of eating at the State Street taco carts
Harley Riders for Huntsman: Just imagine how cool — Huntsman riding a Harley down Pennsylvania Avenue in the Inaugural Parade
Mary Kaye Huntsman for First Lady: She actually wants the job!
America needs Jon Huntsman: The only candidate who speaks fluent Chinese — the language of the nation that owns us
Romney/Huntsman 2012: Because Americans are accustomed to Mormons in pairs wearing white shirts and ties
Huntsman – Courage Under Fire: He dealt with the Utah State Legislature, so he's more than ready for Congress
Huntsman — The Anti-Obama: Because he actually governed and managed — all before his first autobiography
Huntsman in 2012, 2016, 2020, 2024, 2028: You pick the year, he'll be around
America's Children Need Huntsman: He doesn't smoke
Vote for Huntsman: The wealthiest high school dropout in the race
Jon Huntsman: The spiritual, but not religious, leader for the 21st Century
Huntsman for President: And if that doesn't happen, Secretary of State … or Secretary of Commerce … or Secretary of Treasury, etc.
President Jon Huntsman: Just saying it gives you goosebumps
Americans Love Mary Kaye Huntsman: She will not lecture us about eating cheeseburgers
Vote for Huntsman: Seriously, is there anyone else that does not gag you?
Jon Huntsman — The Clear Choice: Better looking than Pawlenty, nicer than Gingrich, smarter than Palin, more fun than Romney, thinner than Christie, saner than Bachmann
Jon Huntsman — A Different Conservative: A really different conservative
The Huntsman Prosperity Promise: A hair blow drier in every bathroom
Huntsman — The Democrats' Nightmare: Because he thinks like them
Huntsman — the People's Choice: Especially moderate Republicans, frustrated Democrats, wavering independents, civil union supporters, questioning Mormons, extreme sports enthusiasts, climate change worriers, punk rockers and all the alcohol drinkers in Utah
Go Beyond tea party, Go Huntsman: He's more of the "Latte Party"
Jon Huntsman — A Unique American Heritage: He is from Utah, after all
Huntsman for Vice President: Shorter speeches and better hair than Biden
Huntsman — Commitment to American Excellence: Lower taxes, less government, more extreme sports
Vote Your Heart. Vote for Huntsman. Please elect him. He really wants to get out of Utah
America — Take the Huntsman Challenge: It involves a leather jacket and a really powerful dirt bike
America's Choice — Huntsman: He is "The Package" — looks, brains and style
Republican LaVarr Webb is a political consultant and lobbyist. Previously he was policy deputy to Gov. Mike Leavitt and Deseret News managing editor. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Democrat Frank Pignanelli is a Salt Lake attorney, lobbyist and political adviser. Pignanelli served 10 years in the Utah House of Representatives, six years as minority leader. His spouse, D'Arcy Dixon Pignanelli, is a state tax commissioner. Email: email@example.com.