Forget the kids. Those Utah Jazz guys often say the darndest things (and we thank them for that). Here are five yet-to-be-printed knee-slappers to help fans forget how brutal the Jazz's non-laugher-of-an-upcoming schedule is:

Sloan vs. Technology

Jazz coach Jerry Sloan laughed at himself after he talked about players needing to watch gametape on VCRs recently. (Hey, at least he didn't suggest they watch it on 8mm film.) While talking about Twitter last weekend, Sloan got more chuckles after saying it's hard to control what players do outside of the locker room. "I don't even know what you're talking about, basically," Sloan said. "I don't even have a computer. I barely can answer my cellphone." Don't expect him to become Kyrylo Fesenko's Facebook friend anytime soon, either.

Reason for Big Al's big ole smile

Jazz fans weren't the only ones cheering when the Clippers' Karl Malone impressionist (Blake Griffin) fouled out with 16 points and 17 rebounds in the fourth quarter Saturday. Al Jefferson hadn't been that happy since being traded away from Minnesota: "It was a fight, Blake Griffin and those guys — I was so happy when he fouled out. I've never been so excited about something in my life, because that boy, he's amazing."

Speaking of Twitter ...

Apparently, hotels the Jazz are staying at are of a higher-level than the ones the Butler Bulldogs used to check into. You might surmise that from a tweet Gordon Hayward posted on his verified Twitter account shortly after Utah heard Will Smith's backups singing "Bienvenido a Miami." Hayward: "There's a fish in a bowl in this hotel" Too bad it's name is probably LeBron.

You can't have funny without Fesenko

A smiling Kyrylo Fesenko offered his quotable services and this gem to media members after Utah's double-overtime thriller Saturday: "Anybody want to interview me? I was the 'Sub of the Game.'" Yes, he really was — and the honor was bestowed upon him by the ESA game-operations crew, not himself after a six-minute outing that included two of the bench's nine points, three rebounds, two blocks and one hilarious postgame line.

Good one by the other Grumpy Old Man

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On the court, 34-year-old Francisco Elson is feisty, fearless and fierce (thus the above tongue-in-cheek nickname). Off the court, he can be a hoot. While recently talking about giving autographs, Elson admitted he hadn't signed many in Utah: "There's not a whole lot of people out on the streets when I'm on the streets." He didn't mention what time or where he's out cruising. But Elson doesn't get bothered for autographs when he returns to his native country, either. "(Dutch) people don't bother you that much. In the Netherlands, people are so laid back and so core. I guess it's because they smoke a lot of weed. (Laughs.) Nah, but people don't really care." We'll end on that high note.