Today, I want to tell you about a nice little surprise I recently had.
But first I want to start with the true story of "Our Son and What He Did to That Bouquet of Flowers."
Back when he was in high school, this son was invited to a dance, which meant there were flowers involved.
Flowers for the girl!
Flowers which adolescent boys don't see the point of! But which their mothers TOTALLY see the point of!
Which means their mothers are the ones ordering the flowers so that there will, in fact, BE flowers involved, which means that certain clueless sons won't look like flower-less dorks when they pick up their dates.
But what to order?
Some years it's all about the "wrist corsage."
Other times the classic "breast corsage" is queen. And of course there are always "loose wraps" and also "nosegays."
SO MANY CHOICES!
Which translates into SO MANY WAYS TO GET IT WRONG!
I worry a lot about screwing up.
I have visions of my boys' dates wearing (unhappily) corsages the size of small shrubs on their shoulders, while the other boys' dates carry dainty nosegays and smile for the camera.
Or vice versa.
The problem is there are no girls living at this house to advise me — except for the dogs, but they're useless on the dance flower front.
They're just all, "Dance flowers? Whatever. Excuse me while I knock over the garbage can and eat some old corncobs."
So finally, I checked in with one of my neighbor Kathy's daughters, who told me that "loose wraps" were in.
I ordered a loose wrap, told my son to pick it up that Saturday morning and PUT. IT. IN. THE. FRIDGE.
Except that he got mixed up and PUT. IT. IN. THE. FREEZER.
Because you know how it is. A freezer is twice as cold and therefore twice as good.
Also, you don't have to move a bunch of annoying jars of mayo and pickles around to make space for annoying flowers. At our house there's always room in the freezer.
The freezer works great!
Anyhoo! You can predict what happened. The loose wrap was freeze-dried like astronaut food when my son pulled it out that evening.
And then when it did thaw, the flowers went all brown and what teenage girl wouldn't love that?
Fast forward to 2010.
Our youngest son was recently invited to a dance. Naturally, I stressed about the flowers and finally ordered a wrist corsage.
I told our son to pick it up on Saturday morning.
Which he did.
He called on the way home from the florist and promised NOT to put the corsage in the freezer.
Here's the deal: I'm convinced people don't learn from other people's mistakes.
We just all gotta go ahead and be dummies on our own.
And then one day — SURPRISE! — you discover your son has actually learned from his brother's mistake and as a result your faith in humanity is restored.
P.S.: Next Week! Bad Writing Winners!