"Cop & 1/2" is a dreadful, cheap-looking "Home Alone" ripoff, with Norman D. Golden II as an 8-year-old kid who's seen too much TV. He wants to be a cop - not a normal policeman, of course, but a "Miami Vice" shoot-'em-up hero.

And he gets his chance when he witnesses a mob murder and finds himself teamed up with grizzled, reluctant Burt Reynolds, a detective who, of course, hates kids.

Most of the comedy is either cartoonish slapstick (crooks attacked by schoolyard kids with Twinkies), vulgar gags (Reynolds stepping in dog doo) or obscure jokes that even most adults won't get (a spoof of "Spartacus," of all things).

Despite his success on TV's "Evening Shade," it's a shame to see Reynolds sinking to this depth. He should have known from the script by Arne Olsen (he wrote "Red Scorpion" for Dolph Lundgren) or the presence of producer Paul Maslansky (the "Police Academy" films) and director Henry Winkler (Billy Crystal's "Memories of Me").

The word "lame" is too tame to describe "Cop & 1/2," which is rated PG for plenty of gunplay, fistfights, car chases and other forms of allegedly comic mayhem.