Dear Annie: My 80-year-old aunt is taking the antidepressant Xanax. I am concerned because she also has a nightly cocktail. She assures me that her doctor approves of this.

I have done some research, and everything I've read states it is not advised to mix Xanax and alcohol, especially for the elderly. My aunt tends to be forgetful, and if she takes more than her prescribed dose with the alcohol, it could be deadly.

I called my aunt's doctor and left a message about my concerns. When my aunt found out, she went ballistic and insisted her nightly drinks are OK. I do not have any legal authority to speak to her doctor, so I don't know if she is being truthful with him. Would a doctor ever approve of this? If my concerns are unfounded, it will take a load of worry off my shoulders. —Worried Niece

Dear Niece: As with any drugs, the answer is "it depends." It is not recommended that you mix alcohol and Xanax. By itself, Xanax can cause drowsiness, dizziness and impaired balance. Mixed with alcohol, those effects are exacerbated, and seniors tend to be more sensitive. Your aunt could suffer seizures and blackouts, and there have been reported deaths from this combination. We doubt her doctor would approve, but he may not have been able to convince her to stop drinking. You're not likely to have any additional influence, so the best you can do is let her know you care and maybe give her a call in the morning to make sure she's OK.

Dear Annie: Our oldest daughter's children are 17 and 18. In years past, my daughter told us not to give the children toys or clothes as the other grandparents bought more than enough, so we gave them bonds or cash for birthdays, Christmas and special occasions. We never received an acknowledgement. When I would call to see if they had received our gifts, my daughter would ask the kids and they would reply yes, but they were too busy or forgot to say thanks.

Our younger daughter has a teenage son and daughter, and we also send them cash, but when we do, those kids are on the phone within hours, thanking us. They also phone us with any exciting news in their lives, school, sports and activities.

My husband has no problem sending gifts to those grandchildren, but he's had enough with the others. He wants to know why we should continue giving gifts to children who apparently hold no regard for us. So, what do we do about our oldest grandson's upcoming high-school graduation (to which we may not even be invited)? —Disappointed Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: Send a lovely card of congratulations. When your daughter asks why there is no cash, tell her you were under the impression her children didn't care for your gifts since they never acknowledge them. Of course, this may cause a greater estrangement, so consider yourself warned.

Dear Annie: This is in reference to the letter from "Mary C." regarding the misdelivery of mail.

If we have incorrectly delivered a piece of mail, it is our responsibility to retrieve and correctly deliver it. Placing the piece of mail back into the mailbox was the best advice, unless the customer wishes to take it personally to the post office. Write on the envelope that it is incorrectly addressed. (If you write "not at this address," it doesn't indicate the letter is at the wrong place, only that the person is not there.)

If Mary C. continues to experience incorrect deliveries, she should contact her local post office or go to

I hope this is helpful, as I have strived for 28 years to ensure the best service possible for my customers. —Kimberly A. Saladini, postmaster, Summit Point, W.V.

Dear Annie: For some time now, I've felt that one of my friends is avoiding me. "Kenny" never answers when I call, and he doesn't return my messages. Also, if I go over to his apartment (when I know he's supposed to be home), his roommate tells me he's not there.

Is he avoiding me, am I paranoid or am I just being a nuisance? —Feeling Neglected

Dear Neglected: Well, you're not paranoid. Stop calling and dropping by Kenny's apartment. It makes you seem desperate. If Kenny wants to talk, he knows how to reach you. We recommend you spend your time with people who appreciate your company.

Dear Kimberly Saladini: Many thanks for the clarification. We appreciate all you do to get our mail delivered promptly and efficiently.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. © Creators Syndicate Inc.