Talking the talk

The "Worldwide Leader in Sports" has hired the Worldwide Leader in Boorishness.

Bob Knight, scheduled to appear on ESPN as an analyst during the NCAA Tournament, has apparently gone over to the dark side.

The man who spent a career hating the media is now part of it.

This, of course, is the same Bob Knight who once said, "All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things."

Then again, most of us learn to talk at age two.

Place in the sun

Do you have a beer gut and lots of attitude?

The Florida Marlins want you. Sort of.

The club held tryouts last week for an all-male performing squad, to be called the Marlin Manatees.

So if Barry Bonds doesn't catch on with anyone else ...

True lies

How do you keep going when the going gets tough?

Jazz coach Jerry Sloan figures you tell yourself a few fibs.

He told reporters this week that former teammate Johnny Kerr used to say, "I'm lying to my legs again ... 'Legs, I'm not gonna have to use you anymore after tonight."'

Said Sloan: "You've got to lie to yourself every day."

In which case Jim Boylen should feel free to think the Utes can still make the NCAA Tournament.

Future attractions

Actor Will Ferrell, star of the movie "Semi-Pro," describing his next project to the Chicago Sun-Times: "I think I want to do power-lifting next. I think I have the aptitude for something like that. I think that's something that would be exciting to watch. Maybe an Olympic-themed Bulgarian power-lifter, shot on location in Bulgaria."

In the swim

From The Onion satire publication: "Weeks after their 2008 swimsuit issue hit newsstands, Sports Illustrated continues to be deluged with mail from appreciative women across America thanking the magazine for once again helping them choose attractive, functional beachwear."

Striking out

Morning News Jazz writer Tim Buckley recently noted New Orleans guard Chris Paul is a spokesperson for the United States Bowling Congress.

Does he actually bowl?

We'll know if he starts showing up for social events in a baggy shirt with his name stitched over the pocket.

Old school

I have to admit to being a tad disappointed at the new deal the Mountain West signed with DirecTV.

I personally liked the old, hard-to-find MWC television arrangement.

That way you had to find out who won by reading the papers.

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