Due to lack of competition and suspense, the balance of the NFL's regular season will be canceled, and we'll skip ahead to the playoffs.
Let's just save time and cut to the part where the commish hands the Lombardi Trophy to the Patriots. And while you're at it, send a thank-you note to the Raiders.
Any questions now that the NFL regular season is half-finished? The lines are open.
1. Whose great idea was it to give Randy Moss to the Patriots? Isn't that like giving Wal-Mart to Microsoft?
The Raiders dealt Randy Moss (greatest wide receiver talent ever) to the Patriots for a fourth-round pick or, the 110th pick of the draft. As if the Patriots winners of three of the past six Super Bowls needed any help. Memo to Raiders from the rest of the league: Thanks for nothing.
2. Whatever happened to parity?
It vanished, sort of like Michael Vick. Five teams have 0-2 wins, and the Patriots, Colts, Packers and Cowboys have a combined record of 30-3. Those who were yearning for dominant teams and rivalries got their way.
3. Given the success of Derek Anderson and others, can anyone ever predict what quarterbacks will succeed in the NFL?
It seems that the preordained collegiate stars rarely live up to expectations. For every Peyton Manning, there is a Joey Harrington, Ryan Leaf, Heath Shuler, Rick Mirer and Vick. Complete nobodies are succeeding Anderson (213th in the draft), Tom Brady (199th in the draft), Tony Romo (undrafted free agent), Jeff Garcia (undrafted free agent).
Meanwhile, the jury is still out on two high-profile draft picks Vince Young (33rd in passing, but his team is winning) and Alex Smith (34th, but his team is in disarray).
4. Is there any better place to be a fan than Beantown?
Is this (sports) heaven? No, it's Boston. Not only did the Boston Red Sox win the World Series, but then Moss, Wes Welker and Donte Stallworth joined the Patriots to strengthen the best team in the NFL, and then Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen joined the Celtics, possibly making them the best team in the NBA. And Boston College is a BCS contender.
5. Is Reggie Bush a bust?
Bush does have 50 catches this season, but averages only 5.5 yards per, and 434 yards rushing, but only 3.8 yards per. His problem is he's a 'tweener not quite an NFL running back and not really a wide receiver, either. Everyone saw him as the next Gale Sayers, but it's Adrian Peterson, not Bush, who is the best new talent to hit the NFL since Moss.
This might be premature, but Vernon Davis, the second-year 49ers' tight end who was billed as a superstar in the making, also might have been overrated. That's what happens when scouts rely almost solely on 40-yard dash times and combine workouts.
6. Why is Tony Kornheiser in the Monday Night Football booth? I thought he said that was a bad idea.
In 1998, Kornheiser, a terrifically funny columnist for the Washington Post, called the use of print journalists on the air "a horrifying trend on TV."
"There's a reason print journalists work in print," he wrote. "It's because they look like bridge trolls. They have bags under their eyes the size of hero sandwiches. They wear lounge-lizard suits and shiny ties spotted with marinara stains. Foam flecks form at the corners of their mouths as they stare creepily into the camera. Their pallor suggests they've just climbed out of a sarcophagus. And these are the women! The men are unspeakable. The reason I don't go on these shows is because I have looked in the mirror recently ... My fellow print journalists, I have one word for you: radio."
Unfortunately, he didn't take his own advice. Forget appearances; he's just not funny. Guys who are funny in print aren't necessarily funny in person (ditto for Rick Reilly, the great Sports Illustrated columnist and humorist, who also is making the leap to ESPN). If you want a double dose of annoying sometime, watch Kornheiser and fellow newspaper columnist Michael Wilbon debate each other on their ESPN show about absolutely nothing.
7. Are the Green Bay Packers for real?I keep thinking the clock will strike midnight and this fairytale about Brett Favre and the gang will be over. But they keep winning, and now it appears they found a decent running back in rookie Ryan Grant. Somehow they are 7-1 with the worst running game in the league (72 yards per game).