Question: I'm an executive, married, with one teen-age child. For awhile now, I've been having sex at work with a low-ranking employee who, I admit, is less than half my age. Although we've been doing our thing on the premises, it hasn't affected my work. I have received consistently good job-performance ratings, yet my company is investigating this matter and is talking about disciplining me. I say that this matter is just between my tolerant wife, my daughter, my girlfriend and me. What do you say?
- Milwaukee, Wis.Dr. Laura: Very funny - but I'll take the bait.
You are directly and indirectly breaking many of God's commandments:
The Second Commandment (idol worship). You are putting your sexual pleasure before your responsibilities, obligations and vows. This puts illicit gratification before godliness.
The Third Commandment (God's name in vain). You have taken marital vows in church in front of your wife, friends, clergy and God. By betraying those vows you have made a vain promise to your wife and to God.
The Fourth Commandment (Sabbath). God declared time as sacred, as holy. Instead of spending the time in your life to be of merit, you use time promised to the company instead for sexual gratification, and time promised to your family instead to betray them.
The Fifth Commandment (honoring parents). You dishonor your parents' efforts in bringing you into the world, nurturing, loving, providing and protecting for you, by disdaining the values they taught you and by most likely bringing them shame and embarrassment.
The Sixth Commandment (murder). When this comes out (and it will), you will kill your child's innocence. How secure will she feel with you or any man, with marital vows or the challenges of life, when she finds she can't even count on her very own father? How hurt, cynical and crass might this make her in self-defense?
The Seventh Commandment (adultery). That's self-explanatory.
The Eighth Commandment (stealing). You are using this girl as a sex toy, yet you are probably giving her a "line" about future intentions. You are not only taking what is not yours (no vows), but taking it by stealth.
The Ninth Commandment (false witness). You are lying out your teeth to everyone around you, especially those who sacrifice the most for you, in order to carry on your inappropriate sexual relationship. When you are caught, you will lie more to try to pretend you are somebody you're not, and to avoid the consequences.
The Tenth Commandment (coveting). You are not grateful for all you have been blessed with and constantly desire that which belongs to others: their affection and innocence. You scheme to have access to a young girl who foolishly worships you (see Commandment Two) so that your ego and id get satisfied.
In doing all of the above, you break the First Commandment of appreciation and obligation to God for the blessings you have by having been given the opportunity of life.
Question: Due to nonsupport by my sister's ex-husband, I watch their children after school several days a week because she can't afford to pay for child care. I must admit I am quite put out by this because I raised my two children and am not particularly thrilled to find myself tied down again.
Does my ex-brother-in-law's nonsupport of his children and its direct effect on me afford me the right to give him a piece of my mind? My husband says this is an issue that is strictly between my sister and her ex-husband. What's your angle?
- Slidell, La.
Dr. Laura: I am grateful that your sister doesn't have enough money for child care because the children are better off with a loving family than with paid-for strangers. The prime manner in which any individual life has meaning beyond its own temporary existence is to matter in the life of somebody else.
You matter to your sister and to her children. This affection is a blessing for you, a blessing which is not obtained through leisure. Your ex-brother-in-law is a bum; you have an opportunity to bring forth a blessing out of that. That's my angle!