After much confusion about what constitutes an impeachable offense, Sen. Trent Lott comes to the rescue. His definition: "bad conduct." Brilliant! Jefferson and Madison are applauding.

- Bad conduct? Mr. Lott isn't exactly weighing us down with intellectual legal detail, is he? Bad conduct? How about poor deportment or being disruptive in class?- This calls for a note from the teacher: "I am giving William an `F' in conduct for teasing the girls and fibbing about it."

- If bad conduct is an impeachable offense - this could mean the end of Congress as we know it.

Los Angeles Times Syndicate