GIMME A D!

Is it just me, or is anyone else having a hard time believing BYU's quarterbacks are cheering enthusiastically for each other?

With Drew Miller and Kevin Feterik still in a contest to see who's the No. 1 quarterback, coach LaVell Edwards said they're one another's biggest fans. "Nobody was cheering any harder for Drew in the second quarter than Kevin, and likewise, Drew was cheering for Kevin in the third quarter," said Edwards, following Saturday's yawner over Murray State.

Strange. I didn't see any quarterbacks cheering.

But I didn't see anyone cheering in the stands, either.

STAR REPORT

Speaking of LaVell, he did a pretty fair Bill Clinton impersonation last week when asked about Miller transferring. He said he didn't know Miller was thinking of leaving, hadn't talked to him, then after he did talk with Miller, said it was blown all out of proportion.

I guess everyone got mixed up on what was meant by the phrase "is" transferring.

GO FIGURE

Seventy homers - give him credit. But the Mark McGwire rhapsodizing did get a bit deep when he noted, "Seventy homers. I'm in awe. I'm in awe of myself . . . I can't believe I did it . . . Can you?"

No. But I can't believe Dickey Simpkins has three NBA championship rings, either.

SEMANTICS

And as long as we're talking about Macs, let's add Utah coach Ron McBride, who insisted last week after beating Hawaii, "There's no such thing as a bad team."

OK, then. Let's just say his Utes - who lost this weekend to Boise State this week - are "executionally challenged."

UPPER CRUST

So Shaq is expanding again. He now calls himself a director, as well as rapper, actor and, naturally, bigger-than-life basketball player.

"I consider myself a Renaissance Man," said Shaq recently.

Shows how much I know. I just thought he was a guy stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to shooting free throws.

GAS `N' GO

Give Edwards this: He hasn't lost his sense of humor. He noted that reports of the team's airplane on the way to Washington expanded from 200, to 700, to 1,500 feet after a close call in the air over Boise.

"The way it's going, another month it would be a hell of a fight," he said.

Edwards went on to say a low-flying military jet outside Boise "caused us to take evasive action, as they say in military terms." He added, "Those of us here who were in the Quartermaster Corps know all about fighting."

As for why the charter plane had to land in Boise to refuel, he quipped, "I guess it's because gas is cheaper there than in Salt Lake."

ALL OVER THE MAP

When it comes to the Johnson family, geography isn't a problem. Murray State football coach Denver Johnson has brothers named Dallas and Houston, uncles named Dakota and Utah, and aunts named Florida, Georgia and Philadelphia.

But you have to figure they haven't gone completely nuts. They haven't named anyone Laramie.