Dear Abby: I am 24 years old and was dating a man a few years older. "Rick" and I dated for two years and lived together almost a year and a half. About six months ago, Rick was killed in a motorcycle accident. Had he lived, he would have been the one I married and spent the rest of my life with.

Here's my problem: Although I loved Rick with all my heart, I know that I am young and will have other relationships. I'll never forget Rick, and I'll carry him in my heart. I don't want to hurt Rick's family or give them the idea that I don't respect his memory.I have been doing things with a male "friend" of mine, and it may get serious. Is it too soon?

- Confused

Dear Confused: It's all right to begin dating, but if you're considering living with this "friend" or making any announcements, I suggest that you slow down. Do nothing in haste, including an announcement to Rick's grieving family that you now have a relationship that may get serious.

Dear Abby: I am writing to share an idea with your readers. I am currently an at-home mom with a 3-year-old daughter. I encourage her to do various craft projects. I couldn't save all of them and felt guilty throwing them in the trash. So we started a monthly project of making her crafts into tray favors (cards and bookmarks) for the local Meals on Wheels program. The organization is very appreciative of the crafts that brighten the days for many seniors.

- Joanna Velasco,

Placentia, Calif.

Dear Joanna: What a charming idea! Your daughter is forunate to have a mother as imaginative as you.

Dear Abby: I'm glad that "Lucky Old Guy in Oregon" thinks he's so lucky. Personally, if my spouse "whacked" me every time I lit a cigarette (or did anything that HE judged to be "unhealthful"), or yelled at me and gave me half-hour lectures if I cheated a little on my diet, I think I would find death to be a welcome escape from him.

My husband and I look out for each other's health. Our greatest wish is that we can happily, and with mutual respect, grow old together. The difference between us and "Old Guy" is that he seems to relish his wife's disciplinary tactics.

Abby, does this sound like a marriage of mutual respect and love? Would you want to be in "Old Guy's" shoes?

- Luckier Still

in Canyon Country, Calif.

Dear Luckier: Your letter made me smile. It's difficult to argue with success, but it does make one wonder if "Lucky Old Guy" would be healthier if he had assumed the personal responsibility for disciplining himself instead of relying on his wife's orders to adhere to a diet and exercise plan.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable - and most frequently requested - poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Copyright Universal Press Syndicate


All of the Dear Abby columns for the past several years are available online. Search for "DEAR ABBY" in the Lifestyle section and the Deseret News archives.