Have you ever gone to a club and been either distracted or extremely irritated by the music?

And, while listening to the band, have you ever not known what to do with your body? (i.e., do I twist, skank or run screaming from the club?)Well, kids, you might have come down with a case of clubitis.

Luckily, we have found a cure for this socially damaging virus. Slapdown: Salt Lake's musical version of penicilin.

With unassumingly and subliminally pleasing compositions, Slapdown travels through the listeners' nervous system, attacking the clubitis cells, allowing audience members to free their limbs and move with the beat.

At last! They can dance!

Consisting of Tosh Brown, Tim May, Chris Snarr, Maya King, Adam Leishman, Nick Germer, Austin Booth, Ben Richards, Tim May and John Thornton, Slapdown exhibits its musical agility, gliding from techno rhythms to steady Latin beats.

Improvisation is a matter of course, but the players limit their onstage jam sessions to a comfortable level for their audience.

In the end, Slapdown successfully combines jazz, funk, blues, rap, R&B, house and a splash of disco to create a musical Long Island Iced Tea. We could think of no better way to describe the ingenious blend of music.

All of Slapdown's music is original, and each band member plays an integral part in the composing process. From the horns to the percussion, each brings in his own area of expertise.

"There is no way this band could do without Ben, John or anybody else," says Brown. "Everyone has such definite personalities that the music just wouldn't be the same."

Despite its growing popularity, Slapdown wants to keep the progress slow, yet steady. The band will not release a CD until next fall and refuses to play more than a couple of times per month. Because many of the band members have participated in other bands and are aware of inherent pitfalls in the music world, Slapdown is content to focus on the music and the present.

If we were to compare Slapdown to a commerical, it would be the Gap "Khakis Groove" ad. If it were a food item, it'd be Jell-OJigglers. If it were a Broadway musical, it'd be "Bring In Da' Noise, Bring In Da' Funk." And if were a movie, it'd be part of the "Shaft" series.

Yah, Slapdown is pretty darn cool. They rock, and if any of you readers take us seriously, you'll find yourself a groovy date and head into clubland the next time it plays.