Dear Abby: A friend of mine recently asked if i would be the best man at his wedding. Of course, I told him I would be happy to. However, there is one problem: What exactly do I do? I want to make sure I'm performing all the duties that are expected.

would you please pring a "job description" for me and all the other best men out there who are not completely sure what they are doing? It would be greatly appreciated. - The Best, but a Little Lost in New York

Dear Best: It is an honor to be the best man, and one that is usually accorded to a brother or close friend. As I point out in my booklet, "How to Have a Lovely Wedding," the best man's job is to help the wedding proceed smoothly. The duties vary somewhat depending on the type of wedding, they they typically include:

- Making sure the ushers have their attire and appear for the ceremony on time;

- Providing his own outfit;

- Acting as a witness and signing the marriage license;

- Either separately or with the ushers, providing a gift for the groom;

- Attending the rehersal, and the rehersal dinner, if there is one;

- Volunteering to help the bride's mother in any way he can;

- Arranging for the bachelor dinner;

- Helping the groom dress and accompanying him to the church;

- Taking charge of the wedding ring;

- Presenting the clergy with the envelope containing the fee for the ceremony;

- Offering the first toast to the bride and groom;

- Mingling with the guests at the receptio;

- Helping the groom dress for the going away;

- Checking the car and luggage and reconfirming the hotel reservations;

- Driving the couple to the airport or hotel.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Illinois 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Copyright 1997 Universal Press Syndicate

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