Your feature comments on the subject of chivalry remind me just how simple, sincere and honest service can be when extended by one person to another, regardless of gender, in a true spirit of friendship. What can be described as a compliment is also the highest form of flattery.

But in all such efforts the question must prevail: Does that flattery create acceptance willingly or will it be subsequently rescinded and resented? The issue may be more of common sense vs. irrational behavior, when you take into consideration the given set of facts and circumstances at the time.If a man shows kindness to a woman without irrational behavior, and she later calls him a "creep" and decides his gesture of kindness is worth $2 million to her, such hypocrisy should teach the man a lesson in common sense, and his kindness is anything but chivalry. Some people in both sexes lack a sense of gratitude for kindness shown in a true spirit of friendship.

Some men's egos demand that they flatter women. This is being chauvinistic as much as those men's ego who are more conservative in their approach to women. There are men to the extreme right in this regard. There are plenty of women who want to be flattered by men and there are those who do not. You just need to get the right people introduced to each other - then everybody can be a winner. In this way the offeree does not have to offend the offeror with: You are not my type.

The further you stay away from an ungrateful person in those circumstances, the better off you are. True friendships begin with kindness offered, which will be received with appreciation, and where there are mutual feelings of reciprocity. Next to not wanting to learn civility and good moral direction, nor be taught because of chauvinistic attitudes, lack of gratitude is the prime cause of less chivalry being demonstrated in our present generation.

Raymond Mills

Salt Lake City