One of the chief ways of contracting the AIDS virus is by sharing contaminated needles, a common practice among drug addicts. As you know, various government programs have been considered, including Uncle Sam's Complimentary Needle Kit.

- Here's the government's position on needle exchanges: Since drugs are illegal, free needles are to be used only for self-administered flu shots.- Federal funding of needles is an unfair burden on the taxpayers. Therefore, the tab for the needles should be picked up at the local level - by the taxpayers.

- If you use a free government needle, you could have an overdose, but at least you won't get AIDS.

- So, when you are bothered by those nagging flu symptoms and a government agent offers you a free needle, just say yes.