Several people have called this week wanting to know when today's Final Four faceoff between Utah and North Carolina begins.
Well, we can tell you it's on Ch. 2. We can tell you just about everything you want to know about the game - except when it will begin.(That and, of course, who's going to win.)
The first game of today's doubleheader, in which Kentucky meets Stanford, is scheduled to tip off at 3:42 p.m. MST. And the Utah-UNC matchup starts 30 minutes after the end of that game.
So if the Wildcats and the Cardinal play three or four overtimes, we'll have to wait awhile to see the Utes and the Tar Heels.
RECORD-SETTING: The last time Utah was highly involved in a Final Four still stands as a TV record.
The 1979 championship game in which Magic Johnson and Michigan State defeated Larry Bird and Indiana State - played at the then-Special Events Center at the University of Utah - still stands as the highest-rated title contest in tournament history. It garnered a 24.1 rating and a 38 share.
That game does not, however, appear at the top of the list of the most-watched title games ever. As a matter of fact, it doesn't appear in the top 10.
That's because a rating point represents 1 percent of the television-equipped homes at a particular moment in time. And in 1979 there were a lot fewer homes than there are today.
(The most-watched game, by the way, was Duke's 1992 win over Michigan, which attracted 20,910,000 viewers. That contest was a blowout - the Blue Demons won by 20 - violating the rule that blowouts bring lower ratings.)
WHAT'S IN A NAME: I used to think that the worst title of any midseason replacement show was "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place." But I've changed my mind.
The worst title is "Significant Others," because it's so easy to make it the much-more-accurate "Insignificant Others."
I've tried to like this show. I really have. But there are no characters on it that are likable. They whine even more than I do.
WHO DO THEY THINK THEY'RE KIDDING? CBS's promotional campaign for its upcoming miniseries "The Last Don 2" makes me wonder if someone at the network is a few affiliates short of a network.
This is "the most eagerly anticipated program of the year"?
Speaking of dumb titles, is there anything dumber than "The Last Don 2"?
As Deseret News movie critic Jeff Vice so aptly observed, would the fact that this sequel has been produced automatically make the last one "The Second-to-Last Don"?
Or, as fellow staffer Ray Boren suggested, "The Penultimate Don."
SALLY THE SECRETARY? When "Murphy Brown" returns to the CBS lineup on Monday, April 6, at 8:30 p.m., it will include an appearance by a two-time Oscar winner.
Sally Field will play Murphy's "dimwitted" secretary - the 91st in a long line of losers.
Field, of course, is no stranger to sitcoms. She started her career as television's "Gidget" before moving on to become "The Flying Nun."
TALKING PIGS: TNT has commissioned Robert Halmi Sr. - the man behind everything from "Moby Dick" to "The Odyssey" - to produce a live-action movie based on George Orwell's satirical novel "Animal Farm."
You remember - the satire on communism in which the pigs start running the farm.
No word yet on who will star, but there are unconfirmed rumors that Babe has been approached.
I'm generally against prejudging anything until we get a chance to see it, but this sounds like a terrible idea.
"FRIENDS" ROAD TRIP: Television's worst-kept secret has finally been confirmed - "Friends" began filming its hourlong season finale in London on Friday.
Well, most of it. The extremely pregnant Lisa Kudrow didn't make the trip, instead taping her scenes back in Burbank.
Reports that the episode will feature the marriage of one of the six "Friends" have not been absolutely confirmed - but we do know that Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), Monica (Courteney Cox), Joey (Matt LeBlanc), Chandler (Matthew Perry) and Ross (David Schwimmer) are traveling to London "to attend a spur-of-the-moment wedding."
We also know that Elliott Gould and Christina Pickles - who play Ross and Monica's parents - will guest star in the episode. Which would lead us to believe that if it isn't Ross getting married (and it probably is), then it's Monica. That would be a surprising - if improbable - twist.
QUOTABLE: David Letterman on the "Late Show": "Here's the thing nobody can figure out - every time President Clinton has one of his dates, his approval rating goes sky high. His approval rating jumped like five points, it's now 67 percent. . . . If this scandal gets any uglier the American public may demand a third term."