Thor Petersen, a gardener in the White House Rose Garden, was served a subpoena when Ken Starr's lawyers discovered he could see into the Oval Office while tending his bushes. He might have seen President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in there alone, and therefore, his testimony was vital to Starr's case.

When served with a subpoena by 10 FBI agents, Thor turned to his friend Vernon Jordan for help. Vernon said in no uncertain terms, "Get a lawyer."Thor found a criminal lawyer at the Rose Garden Club of America who agreed to handle him for $450 per hour.

But before the lawyer could prepare the case, he was subpoenaed by Starr lawyers who wanted to know what Thor had told him.

So Thor's lawyer had to hire a lawyer to defend him for defending Thor.

The night before Thor was to testify in front of the grand jury as to what he saw in the Oval Office, a dozen of Paula Jones' lawyers came to his house to take a deposition.

Thor told them that he had never seen Paula Jones and Bill Clinton in the Oval Office together. One of Jones' lawyers said, "May I remind you that you are under oath?"

After the lawyers left, a man climbed into Thor's bedroom window and said, "I'm from the National Enquirer. We will pay you $500,000 if you tell us what you saw and when you saw it - and another $500,000 if it's true."

Thor says, "I didn't see anything."

"Okay, this is our last offer. If you reveal everything you know about what the president was doing, we will name a rose after you and we will call it the `Starr-Thor.' "

The Enquirer man left out the window. Thor's wife called up to the second floor. "Thor, Barbara Walters is on line one, and Diane Sawyer is calling on line two - and Mike Wallace is downstairs with a bowl of chicken soup."

"I'm going to get out of here," Thor said.

"You can't. There are 400 reporters on our front lawn and 200 in the back. They said if you try to get away without facing them they'll shoot you."

For the first time Thor was frightened.

"What can I say?"

Thor's wife said, "Tell them you've been hired as the staff gardener for Court TV to do commentary on how Monica Lewinsky cultivated forget-me-nots in her mother's apartment."