For their 47 years in show business, the Osmond Brothers have epitomized clean, wholesome American music they started off in barbershop, scored some non-threatening pop hits, and have settled these days into a comfortable gig singing show tunes for the tourists in Branson, Mo. Las Vegas without the trash and neon.
All without a single controversy no addictions, no affairs, no blue periods, not even a casually tossed-off naughty word. It may not be art, but it's entertainment.
Nothing wrong with that.
Wayne Osmond, 52, says it's been a pleasure staying squeaky-clean all these years.
"You don't really have those feelings of 'Well, I'm gonna start swearin' and drinkin' Jack Daniels,' " he says with a laugh during a phone interview from his Utah home. "You just don't even think of going there, basically. It's just a different value system, that's all."
The Osmonds, as the world knows, belong to the Mormon Church, which frowns upon the high life.
Although there are seven performing members of the extended Osmond family including the estimable Donny and Marie Wayne and brothers Merrill and Jay are touring together as the Osmond Brothers.
Wayne, who has five kids and four grandchildren, says he's never been tempted. "I can understand it if you have values that aren't quite like the ones that we live," he explains. "We're Latter-day Saints, and we have a very high moral and ethical code that we live by . . . it's not something that's forced upon us. Anyone can do what they want to; everyone has their free agency. In fact, that's God's greatest gift to mankind, his free agency.
"But when you have certain values that you really like, and you like being part of that organization, then it behooves you to kind of live up to those standards."
To his credit, there's no holier-than-thou attitude to Wayne Osmond; he's genuinely a nice guy. (His jokes, however, are hopelessly corny.)
"In the early days, we turned down several songs that became hit records because the lyrics weren't right," he relates. "But we ended up writing some great songs ourselves. 'Crazy Horses' was the biggest record we ever had."
The No. 1 "Crazy Horses" (1972) was actually banned in South Africa because authorities thought it was about heroin.
Boy, Wayne Osmond thinks that's a hoot.
"It's about horsepower," he says, chuckling. "It's about too many cars on the road it was our first ecological song, if you will. Our first environmental song."
So what's the Osmond Brothers' contemporary program all about?
"We're in a very nice dilemma, in a way, because a lot of the older people remember us from the days of the 'Andy Williams Show,' when we were kids," says Osmond.
"On the road, we get a lot of fans, so we do our more rock 'n' roll show. In Branson, we do a lot of our show-business stuff, if you will. And even a little bit of vaudeville.
"We incorporate a little bit of this and a little bit of that, depending on what type of audience we have. And every once in a while, I'll sneak in a joke."