DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior (girl) who has never had a real date. Is there anything wrong with a girl taking the initiative and asking a boy out? (She could even offer to go Dutch.)
Answer in your column. I'm sure lots of other high school kids would like to know. I can't sign my real name, so sign this . . . FLORENCE FROM TORRANCEDEAR FLORENCE: There was a time when I would have said, "A lady never takes the initiative" - but no more. In case you'd like to see what a high school senior (male) had to say on the subject - here's a letter from my files. (I thought it was a keeper.)
DEAR ABBY: I am a high school senior, and about 75 percent of my dates have come about because the girl asked ME. As a matter of fact, it was the girl who asked me out on my first date.
It's a common practice for girls in high school to make the first move. Of all the girls I ever went steady with, they all made the first move.
Most guys lack self-confidence, so there's nothing wrong with the girl making the first move.
One day in school I received a "secret admirer" note from a girl who said she had seen me at a football game and would like to know me better. Because she took the initiative, I dated her and we became very good friends and we date every so often. If it weren't for her making the first move, I would never have met her.
I say, if a girl wants to know a fellow better, let him know it. She has everything to gain and nothing to lose. - C.W.G. IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR C.W.G: I say, right on!
DEAR ABBY: I met this terrific guy last summer, and it was love at first sight for both of us. (I'll call him Mark.) Mark was living with his girlfriend, "Lisa," her 2-year-old son and her mother. (The baby isn't Mark's.) I am not the type to have anything to do with a guy who's involved in another relationship, but Mark didn't tell me about Lisa until later. By then it was too late.
When Lisa found out about Mark and me, she kicked him out. We were very happy together until Lisa started calling him, and he decided to go back to her.
Now, here's the part I need help on. Lisa and I have become very good friends. She's really a neat gal and I don't want to lose her friendship. How can I keep her friendship without seeing Mark? They have no phone, so in order to talk to Lisa and see Lisa's son (whom I adore), I have to go over to their house.
I hate to do this because every time I look at Mark, I die inside. There is nothing going on between us anymore, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for him, and I can't blame him for loving Lisa. She is the most wonderful friend I have ever had.
Please tell me what to do. - MIXED-UP IN FLORIDA
DEAR MIXED-UP: Losing a lover is painful, but it's not fatal. The price for maintaining your friendship with Lisa and her son is not only having to "see" Mark but also having to put your feelings for him into perspective and go on with your life.
What teenagers need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with their peers and parents is now in Abby's updated, expanded booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know." Send your name and address, plus $3.50 to: Dear Abby's Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054.