Randy - and the name is no doubt part of the joke in this one-joke movie - is a slovenly teenage college student whose girlfriend is fed up with him. You see, they live together in the dorm, but he won't tell his parents about her.

When Mom and Dad arrive to take Randy home for the summer, his girlfriend leaves him. To add insult to injury, Randy's report card is a major letdown, so Dad says he's not going finance Randy's return to college. If he wants to go, he'd better start saving his money.

Randy gets a summer job as a local pizza parlor delivery boy and on his rounds meets wealthy older woman Alex, who for some reason looks upon skinny Randy as a real stud, she orders a pizza and seduces him.

Then she tells her unhappy wealthy housewife friends about Randy, and they too begin ordering pizzas and seducing Randy - paying him $200 a visit. So Randy decides to go for it, so he can save enough money to go back to college and patch things up with his girl.

Such is the plot of "Loverboy," a new comedy starring charming Patrick Dempsey ("In the Mood," "Can't Buy Me Love") as Randy, Robert Ginty and Kate Jackson as his parents and Barbara Carrera, Carrie Fisher and Kirstie Alley as two of the many women who seduce him.

Describing the story makes "Loverboy" sound like "Private Lessons" or "My Tutor" or one of those other mindless exploitation sex comedies that were so common earlier this decade. Oddly, however, "Loverboy" aspires to be merely a slapstick farce along the lines of the old Doris Day sex comedies of the '50s - innocent, yet leering. And, as the cast may suggest, there isn't any nudity.

Yet the entire premise is so lurid and the subplots so stupid that the production ultimately becomes both reprehensible and stupifyingly idiotic. Dad comes to think his son is gay, Mom thinks Dad is having an affair with his secretary, Mom goes off to have an affair with a pizza boy she's heard about and it turns out to be her son (she doesn't even know where her own son works??) and so it goes, all kinds of door-slamming and mistaken identities, none of which are the least bit funny.

This movie isn't just a misfire, it's very badly written (by three screenwriters, always a red flag) and surprisingly poorly directed by Joan Micklin Silver, who has given us such tasteful, delightful productions in the past as "Hester Street," "Chilly Scenes of Winter" and "Crossing Delancy."

It's obvious that Silver didn't have much respect for the material, and it's easy to see why. "Loverboy" is one of the year's worst films.

It is rated PG-13 for violence, sex, profanity and vulgarity.