DEAR ABBY: I have been dating this guy I'll call Michael for two years. I really love him, but he does something that simply kills me! He's a heavy girl watcher.
When we're out in public, whether it's at the movies, restaurant, bar or just walking down the street, he stares at girls constantly - paying no attention to me or what I'm saying. It's like I'm not even there.I mentioned a few times how hurt I feel when I see him staring at other girls, but he says, "It doesn't hurt to look" - then he tells me it's jealousy and insecurity on my part.
I know he'll never change. His friends act the same way. I don't even want to think about what goes on when he hangs out with the boys. For someone who's 31 years old, he acts like a high school boy.
Abby, I love him, but I can't see myself marrying a man who stares at girls when we're together and makes me feel like nothing. I feel used. By the way, Michael is obsessed with girlie magazines and porn videos.
Please help me. - MICHAEL'S GIRLFRIEND
DEAR GIRLFRIEND: How wise you are to realize that this one fault is important enough to stop you from marrying Michael. I receive letters every day from married women who are miserable because their husbands never overcame the habit of staring at girls.
Michael is mistaken. It does hurt to look - it hurts YOU. And don't let him lay a guilt trip on you for feeling jealous and insecure. His "looking" causes you to feel this way.
Girlie magazines and porn videos, yet? If it's marriage you want, you need a more mature man than Michael.
DEAR ABBY: My wife had some cousins visiting her from a distant state. They are nice people, but apparently they had never been to a classy restaurant. Well, we took them to one.
They ate heartily, then just before we left the restaurant, one of the cousins emptied the entire contents of the breadbasket into her oversized purse! There were rolls, breadsticks, a few muffins and some crackers individually wrapped in cellophane. She even took all the packets of artificial sweetener!
When she saw the look of disapproval on my face, she said, "There's nothing wrong with taking these things; you're paying for them. And besides, I understand it's against the law for restaurants to serve anything a second time; once it's been on the table, if nobody eats it, it has to be thrown out."
Is that true or not? - EMBARRASSED RELATIVE
DEAR EMBARRASSED: According to Jimmy Murphy, proprietor of "Jimmy's," one of the classiest restaurants in Beverly Hills, Calif.: "Laws vary from state to state, but the local board of health requires that unwrapped rolls and muffins may be served only once. If they are not eaten, they must be thrown out. However, packaged foods, such as crackers sealed in cellophane, may be served again. And rarely do diners take home what's left in the breadbasket. But should they ask, the waiter will gladly wrap it to go."